Will I feel better if I just let go?

[mumzy7xx]

bit of long story to a short one. My partner passed away last December he solely owned the house I’m currently in the process of probate in order to sort his estate on behalf of our daughter his only child who is 2. He took a life cover when our daughter was 6 months old and left his parent as the sole beneficiary no wishes no will. I presumed the mortgage would be paid of considering the amount was nearly double that what’s left on the mortgage she is not doing that. And I’m currently in the position of coming up to the mortgage repayments to be made which I can’t really afford it would be right but I also absolutely refuse to allow the house to be repossessed so I will make it work. It’s a 3 bed house with a garden, I know I can not afford to move somewhere like this and we will be down sizing to a 2 bed flat. I feel immense guilt on my daughter that she’s already lost her dad now we will be losing our home the space her garden I know it seems small in comparison but I love this house it’s been my home for the past 5 years where we brought our little girl home but it’s also is very traumatic for me from that night he died, the memories the silence all without him. I know I need to leave to move on but I am so scared to let go to regret it to up move my daughter. His family want us out and claim it’s their house although they do know the rules of the law. I just want to know what’s right to do by my daughter. I’m so lost.

I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss @mumzy7xx

His parent does sound thoughtless making you and your child homeless.

Have you managed to get any formal legal advice?

Oh OP I'm so sorry to hear this. His family are behaving appallingly. Good luck with finding a lovely place for your daughter and you to be happy in.

Surely you’re not responsible for mortgage payments if you had no ownership of the property? It’s a mess but your daughter won’t remember where she lived when she was 2 and will be fine wherever you land. His family are being horrible but ultimately you put yourself in a very vulnerable position by moving into his property.

Why isnt she doing that? What is her plans with the money?

If your name isn't on the mortgage or the deeds, it's not your responsibility to pay. You need that money for rent/moving. Why on earth did your partner not make sure that you were financially provided for?

Have you taken legal advice about making a claim on his estate on your DD's behalf?

You need urgent legal advice.

I would have thought that there was mortgage protection life cover set up at the inception of the mortgage.
The bank would have insisted on that. For this exact purpose, it pays the bank in case of death.
You need to look for it / ask the bank.

This would have been separate from any life cover he's set up since.

So sorry for your loss OP, his family are just awful. As others have said, you need to get urgent legal advice.

They don't insist on this. They encourage it but it isn't required. Worth checking though!

I have had legal advice and they do say I have a strong claim on his estate although it is also means it’s a conflict of interest of me representing my daughter with the probate? Because I am acting/applying on her behalf to look after the estate it makes awkward for me to claim on it. There is no mortgage cover I am aware of I don’t think he took one out he got the mortgage not long before we got together. The bank won’t speak to me until probate is granted so I’m not even sure if they will allow me to pay the mortgage but I am hoping so to avoid repossession. There’s about 50/60k equity on the property which will then be my daughters.

I think you've posted about this before. Sorry you're in such a dreadful situation.

Obviously we don't have all the info but based on what you've said-

• There is no basis on which his parents have a claim on the house. The intestacy rules are clear- if you are in England and unmarried, it belongs to his daughter (subject to the mortgage). You could potentially have a claim as a dependent. But his parents have no claim at all.
• I would be surprised if the mortgage company had any great desire to repossess if there was another option- it's hardly good PR to put a bereaved mother and daughter out of their home. I would do whatever you can to put yourself in the best position to take on the mortgage- clear any short term debt if you can, get finances in order, keep in contact with the bank even though they can't tell you anything, make sure that correspondence is coming to you and that you keep on top of it. Hav ea look at online calculators to get a sense of what the payments would be and whether you could afford them. You may be able to increase the term to bring the payments down (will cost more overall but might be the difference between being affordable and not.)
• Definitely get further legal advice if at all possible. But it sounds as if you are less concerned about whether it is your daughter or you who inherits the equity in the house and more concerned about getting his family off your back and working out next steps. You might also speak to CAB and to Shelter about your rights to stay in the house.
• Don't move out or "give" his family the house (you couldn't if you wanted to, as it's not yours to give, but they could make things very difficult if they're in and you're out). While you are living there you have a number of rights and it will be a long process for anyone to get you out, including the bank.

@Eggbaps yeah I have done , unfortunately I don’t think they are going to stop until I am out.

I know the mortgage fixed rate ran out in June so I am unsure what the new rate will be.

My partners brother claimed himself to be the PR of him and got all mortgage letters sent to his address so I have put in a legal dispute with the bank.

They now can’t speak to anyone regarding the mortgage until probate is granted.

I have spoken to UC to ask if I will be eligible for any help and I believe they will pay the interest on a mortgage. I have only gotten so far with that.

His family are aware of this however after a very unpleasant conversation with his father the other day he said ‘that’s our door and our son’s door until a court says so’ meaning the front door.

honestly at this point I will still make sure the house is not repossessed whatever it takes but I am so done with fighting them. I feel like giving them the keys and saying just have it and leave me alone. (I’m not going to do that!)

I have no idea where me and my daughter will go from this but I know we will be okay. I’m having a very hard time accepting this all.

@Eggbaps thank you

I'd let the fucker be repossessed me. Then move out. It's not on you to pay the mortgage.

If you're in England or Wales and your DP died intestate, then his daughter is his sole heir, not his parents. Are you seeking proper legal advice?

How did he arrange the life cover? If he had a child, he shouldn't ever have been advised to name his parent as sole beneficiary, and if he was advised to do that, then I think you need to approach the financial ombudsman. If he took it out online without financial advice, you could still have a case against the insurer if their sales pitch and the application form doesn't make it clear that there are implications around who is named as the beneficiary of the life cover.

If he did die intestate, then a pp is right - his dc is his sole beneficiary.

I know our daughter is the sole beneficiary of his estate and not his parents , and I have reiterated this to his parents however I think they are seeing this as their job to ‘look after his belongings’ eg his work tools wages devices ect which they refuse to give back. Honestly I have contacted back and fourth with the life cover , he was in sound mind his daughter had already been born so they believe they have paid the correct beneficiary his mum. There wasn’t a mention of his child which is just crazy to me. We was a family until the day he died under the same roof and financially dependent on him mostly. For me to fight it could cost a lot of more which I don’t have. I have to focus on moving forward and rebuilding a life and home for us now than fighting his parents over a choice he made and ultimately was his decision. Do I think he was poorly advised or not advised at all? Yes. But that stands for nothing now.

And what about the equity in the property that is our daughters? I’m sure this will have some implications on the money she will receive back?
I feel I have to protect her financially some way and is this really in her best interests?

@mumzy7xx have you checked with the bank re the mortgage protection cover??

No as they won’t discuss anything with me however on one of the bank statement letters it did say at the bottom if there is any life cover ect to let them know which I did but obviously the legal part behind it.

So sorry for your loss. Probate doesn’t take long to come through, so you will soon be able to communicate with the banks etc. It’s clear that legally your daughter will inherit the equity, so just wait it out and try to limit communication with the horrible family.

This is good advice.

Are you a member of Widowed and Young? It’s only something like £20 for annual membership, and you get access to a free legal advice line. You’ll also find lots of other people with experiences similar to yours (sadly) on their online forums, which might be some much-needed emotional support for you. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.