Daughter death and being emotionally sensitive

[Dazedandconfused2025]

I lost my very young daughter in the Spring, after being in hospital for weeks and weeks.

I and my DW are coping with things as best as we can, and trying to pick up the threads of our lives again.

The thing is I have noticed that I am very raw and certain things are very very moving to me. There is an advert on social media for a sick and disabled children and family charity that features a very disabled child that just makes me cry every time I see him and the advert. He looks so sweet and helpless.

And the thoughts of it keep popping into my head at different times of the day. I keep welling up and crying for him. As well as for my daughter.

I saw and experienced a lot on my daughter's intensive care ward and I was upset a lot during my daughter's illness, and while I was never callous or blasé about the other children on ward, I was never emotional about them. I just didn't have the 'bandwidth' given all that was going on with my child.

But I seem to be far more sensitive to the suffering of other children now. It seems to growing stronger as the months pass.

I just feel this is another form of torture of grief. I cannot do anything (of note) about these children's suffering, as I could do nothing to stop my daughter's.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?

You’re highly sensitive because of what you’re going through

cry - shout and bellow into the wind - it’s unfair let it all out

I’m so sorry for your loss xx

I'm so sorry. I think your emotions are normal. I can't watch programmes about ambulances or hopitals since dh died. I didn't watch the latest Bridget Jones movie either

Sorry for your loss xx

Strong emotions about random things is a normal part of grieving. See: the wheel of grief. It’s so hard when you lose someone so close to you, you never really actually ‘get over it’ at all.

I lost my mum who was my best friend too; 2 years ago, and I remember having strong feelings of anger this spring when I went into town and heard some Baptist preachers. I actually felt so angry with what they were saying that tears were rolling down my face & they were very lucky not to actually approach me at that moment yet I’m never normally an aggressive person.

Also I’m a healthcare assistant and I cared recently for a youngish woman with the same cancer as my mum had which did really upset me deeply. (I didn’t let it show obv).

I would say I’ve been through all the emotions more than once; every time I think this is it now, I can live with my grief, something will upset me again. I will be honest and say I am also living with a serious mental illness so I don’t now how normal my experience is.

I found that grief counselling did help me somewhat to accept my loss and to understand grief, I would definitely recommend it.

Thank you all for your replies, and I too am sorry for your losses.

It's good to know that what I am feeling is fairly normal.

I have been recommended bereavement counselling, but with the suggestion of taking this up at the 6 month post-loss mark. As this is the point of it being most effective. I think I will be taking it up at that stage.

So sorry for your awful loss.

None of your feelings are wrong, they're all understandable

I lost my daughter 2 days before she turned 15, I thought that by remembering all the good times that it would make life a little easier. Every time I look at a photo of her the tears run down my face and I cannot stop asking myself why it had to be me how do I move forward and stop feeling worthless and depressed?

Your rawness is totally understandable, OP. When I lost a close loved one, I couldn't even have the radio on because every slowish song or piece of music made me cry.

On a practical note, look into the settings of your social media and see if you can block certain types of advert. And the next time you see the one you're talking about, block it.

Bereavement councilling sounds like a good idea. I can appreciate why it wouldn't work too soon after your loss.

Oh I see you have replied to an earlier thread.

I am so sorry for your loss. Have you looked into bereavement councilling? Nothing can bring your daughter back, but there are ways to try and cope with it (if that is even the right expression to use).

No I have not looked at bereavement counselling she passed away in 2021

Do you think you might be ready to try that now? There are people who can, hopefully, help you.

I’m so very sorry about the loss of your little girl. I’m also a bereaved Mum, and everything you’re feeling is completely normal.

As well as grief counseling, I’d suggest The Compassionate Friends, a group for parents who’ve lost a child. It’s a very specific type of grief to lose one’s child, and connecting with other bereaved parents was a lifeline for me.

https://www.tcf.org.uk

Same as you sadly. We both cry at anything slightly emotional, and we are two years on.

I describe it as being fragile. An emotional fragility that leaves us just not able to control our emotions.

When I'm not fragile, I feel as if I'm behind a gauze blind, not really engaged and distant.

We read about the five stages of grief to help us. These are not steps and do not occur in order, going round and round. It gave us some understanding.