How to cope

[MiddleLifeCrisisorWhat]

I lost a very dear friend yesterday. He had a sudden heart attack aged 70. I was only speaking to him via WhatsApp and hour or so before. Was supposed to meet up with him today for coffee.

He was my instructor and mentor in the hobby I engage in and he was my absolute rock. Helped me not only with my hobby and passing all my exams/tests but personally as well. At the drop of a hat he was there to help or on the other end of the phone. He believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself.

I've only known him a couple of years but my god, it's hit me hard. I feel like I've lost a close family member. I just can't imagine moving forward without being able to message him for support/help, no more silly memes or videos being sent to me, no more banter.

I'm absolutely heartbroken. How am I going to live my life with this deep void in my heart. How on earth can I ever be happy again if I'm always going to miss him so deeply?

I've never experienced losing someone like this. Please tell me it gets easier.

It does get easier.

Imagine grief as box with a button inside of it. There is a ball bouncing around inside the box. Every time the ball hits the button you feel that wave of overwhelming grief. When you first lose someone, the ball of grief is massive, almost as big as the box. It can barely move without hitting the button constantly.

Over time the ball starts to shrink. It still hurts just as much every time it lands on the button but the gaps between get bigger and bigger as the ball shrinks.

I've lost way too many people in my life. Three best friends, uncles, aunts, my step dad, my dad, brother in law and mother in law, my partner of 15 years. Every time I think "this is the one I can't survive". But it does get easier, and you do survive it.

Thank you @DoAWheelie , that's tremendously helpful.