Is this normal?

[slet]

I am coming up to the 3 month mark after my loss, and I feel like my body has just stopped working properly. I’m not sure if this is perimenopause (I’m 42) or a reaction to grief is something else.

Ive had two really bad colds which have left me with sinus issues that have gone on for weeks. I have headaches all the time. My skin seems to be very sensitive and flares up all over the place. I’ve had digestive issues such as reflux and nausea which I’ve never had before. My periods are all over the place- one on them lasted for 10 days which is unheard of. I also feel pretty tired although not as mad as I did in the first few weeks, which was quite extreme.

drs have done blood tests which came back normal and tested for h pylori- negative.

Has anyone else had a similar reaction to grief?

I’d get your thyroid, iron and B12 checked, if not already done.
After that I’d say that yes, a delayed reaction is normal, as you keep going to begin with, but it’s not sustainable. Give into it and let the grief out.

I had 7 rounds of antibiotics in the 6 months following my OH's death. Greif really does affect your whole body and mess up your immune system.

I'm starting to feel more "normal" physically now although I'm not 100% back to where I started. It's been 17 months.

Thank You both. That’s interesting about the antibiotics as my mum is on about her third lot since it happened.

I think we are all just so low and struggling. It’s really taken a toll physically as well as emotionally.

Hi op I lost my mum in November and my periods stopped for 2 months and then became excessive. I basically bleed almost all the time. I’ve spoken to the dr a lot, they think it’s not menopause related (I’m 40) they think it’s hormone imbalance. But it’s a lot, I’m anemic, I’m so tired, I’m sad. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again. Losing my mum was the biggest most terrible shock of my life, all this I’m going through and the one person who would know what to say isn’t here.

@LittleMGin am so sorry about your mum. It’s horrible isn’t it.

My ailments are continuing, since I posted I have had a gum infection, a reaction to the antibiotics for that and now an ear infection!

I think it’s really normal. I lost my voice suddenly, several times after DH died. Couldn’t make sense of it at all but the speech therapist I saw said voice issues were common at this time as well as other physical stuff. I guess the body is trying to process the new way of life?

I wouldnt say its normal reaction to grief, no. Go get checked out by your GP.

I’m seven months after DH’s death which was unexpected and hit me like a freight train.

Im all over the place, emotionally and physically.

I know that although I may recover the ability to work, socialise, ‘look normal’ and go through the motions, I’ll never be the same.

Physically, I’ve got a strong pain in my left hip / thigh that flares up and dies down but never goes away completely. I never had it until three weeks ago!

In the early days, I prayed for a terminal illness or freak accident (still do, sometimes). I wonder if it’s serious but probably just a weird ache or pain.

I hope you recover your strength soon, @op

I am so relieved in reading each your replies. My dad died almost 4 months ago and I am physically exhausted, headaches and wonder if I will ever feel normal again. My mum died twenty years ago and that was traumatic. I feel quite lost and alone despite having adult children and grandchildren. I feel I need space to mourn and get to grips with life without either parent. My tiredness and pain is not improved by brisk walks etc. my heart goes out to you all. I think we underestimate how we are affected by the loss of a parent,

Bereavement is a massive stress on your body. Your symptoms are common reactions to stress.
Im very sorry for your loss.