Quick Win Ideas For Those Deep Dark Depressive Moments in Continuing Grief

[DarkWithGrief]

I very often have really low moments when I just want to not be here and live with this pain. I thought it might be an idea to start a thread for things that people have found can help buck them out that hell. What works for you?

Here are mine:

1.A mentally distracting game that requires a bit of concentration and is asborbing but not too difficult.
CandyCrush and the 2048 game are both good for this I find. https://play2048.co/
The 2048 game is about swiping the same number together to get to 2048 so 2+2 = 4 etc.

2.Speaking to someone, anyone, about anything. It doesn't even have to be a long chat with a friend where you tell them how bad you are feeling but that is good if you can find it. I find it hard to call friends when I feel that low because I don't want to be a burden - but calling Cruse or other bereavement help lines or even just going out to a shop and speaking to the cashier can help.

3.A couple of glasses of something fizzy. I know this won't be for everyone and I'm not suggesting getting drunk as a solution but alcohol with bubbles in is absorbed more quickly and can give you a little mood lifting buzz and can feel quite like you are spoiling yourself which can be distracting. If I remember, I try to keep a mini bottle 20cl or half bottle in the fridge chilled and ready in case. This one is about knowing yourself though because some people might find it makes it worse if they have too much.

Alcohol does work for a bit, thank you for the reminder.

I’m not a drinker, really, or inclined to drinking, but it takes an edge off the misery and can knock me out for a while, which is always a blessed relief.

It's distraction for me, could be a film, a game, a book, going on mumsnet, work. I have to totally distract myself.

Binge watching tv series, currently the Madame Blanc mysteries on Netflix. Last week it was The Detectorists. (Spend a lot of time rewinding as I fall asleep a lot). Just researching the next, might be Flowers but not sure.

make the effort go out and do a couple of hobby things which help a lot but come home and don’t feel great but feel better when I’m there.

making the effort to see friends and try not to be negative but am struggling because I think people think I should ‘be getting better’ when actually I think it’s beginning to sink in now that this is life (and I want my old one back thank you very much).

im trying to avoid alcohol (and chocolate and crap food in general) but this week one day I just ate a whole family pie minus it’s lid.

tbh unless you’re in the thick of it most people don’t have a blooming clue what the flying frig it’s like. Im sure I was ‘better’ a while back, at least I was cooking, and batch cooking. Currently trying to work out where the teasmade might be in the house so it can make a cup of tea, just found out my local Argos has one, sorely tempted to go buy one tomorrow (and then the next day mine will appear in the place I’ve hunted twice where’d I was sure I’d seen it).

I find online supermarket shopping quite a good distraction but most recent shop really needs to be a one off, pork pie large, mini magnums, meat pies, crisps and biscuits.

maybe we could have a what am I going to achieve today (bit like the decluttering thread) but aiming for an achievable positive, even if it’s only getting dressed and not eating chocolate cookies for breakfast. 💐💐💐💐

Knitting. It requires a lot of concentration but it’s also mindless. I find that making something with your hands is steadying and calming.

Filling my bird feeders and watching the birds come down to eat, or drink from my bird bath, with a mug of coffee or a glass of squosh, just 10 minutes here and there of complete switch off x

Having baths helped me. I was bereaved in the winter months, and I used to sink down into a deep bubble bath to warm my body and soul. It helped me no end when times were bad.