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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

My son died, 15yrs ago

17 replies

dede1956 · 03/07/2025 00:47

And it still hurts, so bad.Tonight I've been hit with a tsunami of pain.Feel so guilty that I couldn't save him, sepsis. Last time I saw him he looked fine but then we had 'words' on the phone re his lifestyle. Next day I had a call from his phone, not him, a paramedic saying you son has gone into cardiac arrest, get to hospital asap.

OP posts:

nocoolnamesleft · 03/07/2025 00:54

I am so sorry. This is not your fault. The reason it hurts so much is that your love is so great, and I’m sure he knew that. Would you like to tell us about him? If so, we would be honoured to hear about him. If not, know that there are people on here who care.

LunaTheCat · 03/07/2025 02:42

I am so sorry .. it’s the nature of grief.
You have to just lost your son but you have lost your potential future together.. the relationship he may have had, the children he may have had.
I am sure he knew that you loved him… having “words” is a sign of love .

Mikart · 03/07/2025 15:46

I am only 9 months in but this resonates so much.
The physical pain is overwhelming sometimes when I realise he is just...not there. And never will be. And it makes me so fucking angry.

buffyajp · 03/07/2025 15:50

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my son nearly twelve years ago and time does not heal the pain. Lots of love and sympathy your way

Caramelty · 03/07/2025 15:52

Sepsis is notoriously dangerous and hard to spot. I’m so sorry for your loss, nothing wipes away that pain. Give yourself space to wallow in it and then, put it behind you for another year.

fanmepls · 03/07/2025 15:53

I'm so sorry.

StasisMom · 03/07/2025 15:56

I’m very sorry, for all of you who have been through this. I can’t even imagine the pain.

TrentCrimmsflowinglocks · 03/07/2025 16:05

I'm so sorry Op. My mother had sepsis and the speed of her deterioration was terrifying.

Would it help to tell us a bit about your son? What was he like?

WonsWoo · 03/07/2025 16:15

I'm so sorry. You must miss him terribly.

caringcarer · 03/07/2025 16:42

The loss of a DC is the worse loss of all losses because it goes against the natural order of death. Have you had grief counselling? It is supposed to work best long after the death.

dotdotdotdash · 03/07/2025 16:46

I’m so sorry @dede1956. My heart goes out to you 😔

VirginaGirl · 03/07/2025 16:49

That's so traumatic, OP. I am so sorry. 💐

Thmssngvwlsrnd · 03/07/2025 16:51

I'm so very sorry OP x

TeenLifeMum · 03/07/2025 16:55

I just wanted to add, try not to focus on the last conversation. Your relationship would have been a far broader picture than one conversation and that picture is what would have been with him at the end, not the single phone call. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s a different kind of grief and it’s okay to feel how you feel. Be kind to yourself.

Aprilrainagainagain · 03/07/2025 17:08

I'm so very sorry. I'd love to hear about him if you would like to share. Grief and anniversaries are so very hard

Marianwallace · 03/07/2025 17:11

I am so sorry. I cannot begin to imagine how hard that must be x

Spooky2000 · 11/07/2025 22:00

I am so sorry. I imagine that you're in a place where you don't feel you can speak atm, but when you're ready, we are here.

My son died on 27th April 2025, but wasn't found until 30th which adds to my pain. It really helps me to be able to talk about him here. xx

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