How to prepare dc for their great nans passing?

[Soubriquet]

My Nan is really ill. She’s been in hospital for a few months now because she fell asleep whilst smoking.

She was doing ok, but now the burns on her legs has caused major infection and it’s gone to her heart.

Yesterday, she really took a bad turn. She’s been vomiting up black blood. She cannot move, talk, eat or drink. The hospital are doing everything to keep her comfortable. All she can really do is move her eyes and flick her fingers a little.

My children are 12 and 10 so really understand now what’s going on. They weren’t overly close their great Nan, who they just called Nanny, but they are still upset. The 12 year old more than the 10 year old.

We’ve discussed things together and even talked about the funeral. They decided they don’t want to go with me (which is a good idea because we don’t exactly get on with the rest of the family) and we are going to have our own memorial service.

But really, how do I prepare them? It’s so hard. I hate seeing them so upset and there’s nothing I can do

Sorry about your grandmother.

I would limit what I say to them. Only update them with something along the lines of 'she's still poorly in hospital' if they ask.

As they aren't overly close I would imagine that this is a response to the reality of death itself and not your DGM as such.

Thank you. It’s highly possible. One of our dogs died a few months ago. She was only 6 so it was a huge shock to lose her and both kids were really upset. Of course they were

So I’m wondering if losing Nan is also bringing back feelings about their dog

She’s gone. Passed away on the 30th June

Had some tears from both children. DS was upset again about the dog. Nan dying reminded him of the dog dying so he was quite upset about that

Dd was just upset understandably. We talked about the funeral and she’s ok with not going as long as we do our own memorial service at home. We kept them home on the 1st of July just to give them the day and they were both ok to go back to school on the 2nd.