Its 10 years today since my.mother passed.
We had a complicated relationship but there was love there too.
I can still recall her hugs vividly. Others speak more of her laughter and loud laugh. They are not so clear in my mind.
My sister wrote a post today on her social media, about how she misses her and how she doesn't find time heals more you get used to them being gone. I get her feelings but not so much w our mother. I think I was used.to her not being very present in my life (I live in a different counrty to them) before she passed, making the loss of a different kind.
Still 10 years is a long time and sometimes I'd like to speak with her.. she wasnt a bad person just a complex individial who I guess did her best but at times the best wasn't good enough for the daughter she was bringing up. (Parents divorced when I was 5 so I kinda grew up as an only child)
Grief is complex in so many ways. Today I can acknowledge I loved her but unlike my sister I dont feel that loss intensly. Im used to life without her and I am ok with that..
Not sure why I am writing this just felt the need to put it out there.