Dad

[happysoul1980]

My dad dropped down dead on Sunday he was only 74 ,,was perfectly healthy , He was the only man in my life . He was so kind , caring literally did anythin for anyone , I can’t get my head round why he left us . I jsut want him back. 😢.

I’m so sorry.

Oh op im sorry. I lost mine two years ago in his 60s. I miss him every day but it does ease I promise x

I’m so sorry for your loss. 💐

Would you like to tell us about him?

That’s so sad. What a nasty shock ❤️💐

Awe OP , that’s so shit 😔..
❤️❤️

I’m so sorry for your loss, that’s so sad and you must be feeling bereft. I’m nearly 3 months down the line from losing my mum and I still keep thinking ‘I want her back,’ so I know how you feel. I echo what others have sad, it’s such a shock and a loss so take your time, be kind to yourself and whatever you feel is normal when we suffer loss like this in our lives.
Sending love and all my condolences as you grieve your lovely Dad x

I am so very sorry for your loss. 🌹

Honestly, sudden death is bloody brutal.

My Mum passed away suddenly and with no warning a couple of years ago. No ill health, no issues, nothing. I had only been on facetime with her the day before and she was laughing and joking and absolutely full of life. Next day she was gone. Just like that. She was only 70.

Then in March this year my Dad went to bed and didn't wake up. Again, no bloody warning or chance to say goodbye. Just gone. I had been calling him and he didn't answer. Not realising that he wasn't answering because he was dead.

Its so cruel and its literally devastation beyond belief. The shock is unreal.

It took me a long time to process the way in which my Mum passed away. No closure, no chance to say goodbye. Then I have had to do it all again with my Dad. I was very close to both my parents. My Mum particularly.

It took bereavement counselling for me to feel okay again and to actually process what happened to my Mum. It has been a little easier with Dad. Maybe because I have been through it before.

Maybe in time, its something you can look at if you feel you need it.

Until then, baby steps. Each moment, each hour, each day at a time.

Sending hugs xx

I’m so sorry OP. Sending hugs to you at this sad time.

I'm so sorry @happysoul1980 - this happened with my dad too when he was 70. Dropped me off at a bus stop one morning and was dead 20 minutes later, no history of illness or any clue. A massive heart attack - I think he was gone before he hit the ground.

A better end for the person concerned, rather than the slow decline of dementia or illness and loss of dignity, but wretched for those of us left behind.

I wish I had words that could comfort you - but I know that nothing really helps. It's deeply sh~t and very, very unfair.

I eventually sought counselling from a local bereavement charity which was very helpful. I know it sounds trite - but he will always be your dad, and a part of him will always live on in you. I suppose I thought to myself that I would rather have had him as my dad for too short a time, than to never have had him at all.

As a PP has said, take each day as it comes. Some days might be not so bad, on others it will be something tiny that sends you spiralling. It's OK to be angry, and livid at the way fate has served you.

Look after yourself, as best you can. And I am so, so sorry. xx

Thank you for all your kind words , I’m just so angry with the world right now , I can’t get my head round it.

I had the anger too. I was so angry at the world for taking her. Why this way? Why not let her say goodbye to the people she loved? She didn't deserve to die. She was still young and had so many things she was looking forward to. Why were shit crap nasty people still alive when my lovely Mum, who never hurt a fly, and was so amazing and kind, was dead.

I was in my car one day, on the way up to meet with the funeral director, when my Mums favourite song came on the radio. Memories of her smiling and singing along to it flashed in my head and I felt pure rage. I drove somewhere quiet and screamed at the top of my lungs and from the depths of my soul. I was just so angry that she had been taken away from me. And that my children had lost their lovely Nanny. It was pure raw emotion.

I also got a little pissed off with well meaning people saying things like 'at least she didn't suffer' and 'she is with you in your heart'. Which I know, and I know its a standard nice thing to say to someone who is grieving a loved one, but when you are so angry you don't want to hear 'she is in your heart' because you just bloody want her here with YOU.

Allow yourself to feel that anger, to feel it, to release it. Its all part of the process along with the disbelief and feelings that its not real.

Oh how awful. Sorry for your loss.

it is a terrible shock when it happens suddenly like that. even if you are expecting someone to die ie from illness etc you are never really prepared for it but especially when it unexpectedly happens.
take each day as it comes be kind to yourself
in time you will remember memories that will make you smile
losing a parent is something you cannot imagine how painful it is until it happens to you
God bless and sending love to you xx

I'm so sorry OP.

I am going to lose my dad sometime soon to cancer, he's only 65, and although he's been poorly for awhile I'm still not prepared.

I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I'm sending you strength and hugs x

He was the kindest man , nothin was to much trouble for anyone , he picked up my son in the morning was fine then few hours later he collapsed and was dead beige he hit the ground . Everyone tired to bring him back but he was gone . He raised my children as well. I feel like I shouldn’t be alive without him

Sending you lots of love and hugs 🤗 My mum died suddenly 6 weeks ago at just 72. I had just spoken to her hours before. I completely understand how you are feeling. It's ok to feel anything you want or to not feel anything at all. Just be kind to yourself and take each day as it comes ❤️

That's a very normal reaction. I was enraged when it happened to my dad and couldn't see the point of carrying on. It's desperately unfair - especially when the likes of D~n~ld Tr~mp are still living hale and hearty in the world. I would get angry when it was a nice day, and my dad wasn't here to enjoy it.

But you do deserve your life and your future - the life that he helped to create and enriched with his love. I'm sure he would want you to keep going. It might feel that you're at the bottom of a very deep and awful pit at the moment. It won't always be this sh~t. You will always miss him, but these wretched feelings do shift in time. Keep going. The world is a better place because you are alive in it. And it needs you to remind people how lovely your dad was and to keep his spirit alive.

Sending love, and also to all on here who are grieving too. xx

Thank you , that’s my point all these sm* heads live forever yet they take the good ones !! It’s a horrible world . I have to keep goin for the kids but god it’s hard 😢😢

Feel for you, I am just at the 12 months stage, my mum wasn't ill went to bed and died. The shock is so hard to deal with along with the wait for the coroner. Massive hugs be kind to yourself xxx

I'm so sorry op. I am 4 months down the line and just last night I had a sudden wave hit me of 'i am never going to have a conversation with my dad ever again'. I nearly vomited with the shock and gut wrenching sadness.

It's such a difficult thing to process and I don't know when it gets easier. I live in a other country and had a c section 3 days before he died suddenly so wasn't able to go to the funeral. I think I am still in denial. In a few weeks I am heading to his home. Instead of spending the summer with my dad and baby, I will be visiting him in the cemetery. I just can't believe it. I can feel a panic attack coming just writing this.

Sending lots of love your way and to everyone who has lost a parent.

So very sorry to read about your late father Happysoul. The shock at his passing is immense particularly in the early days.

I am six weeks or so on from my dad's death and his funeral is being held on Wednesday.

Anger is a part of the grieving process and what you are feeling is entirely normal. Go with the flow and do not worry unduly about your children seeing you cry.

He died of a heart attack whilst on holiday in April overseas so we have had to go through the process of repatriating his body to the UK. Fortunately he had travel insurance so the insurers did some of the work associated with this. I contacted their travel insurers when I learnt of his death (mum was in no fit state to do anything like that) and some forms were completed by me. From that I was referred to a UK based company of international undertakers who kept me up to date. My mum was helped in the coming days by a Consulate officer who was of great help to me also.

I still half expect him to show up here with laptop in hand asking us to fix it for him or to print something off for him. It pains me a lot to think this will not happen again.

Reading these stories is so heart-breaking, with no chance to say goodbye. I really feel for you all. My son passed away a month ago as he took his own life, but the suddenness of that and of your stories really breaks my heart. I am so sorry. The hardest part for me and I think for some of us here is to just keep on keeping on. It's hard, really hard. My sincere condolences to you all, truly. xx

So very sorry to read about your son Spooky.
I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling and I hope you are receiving the support you need.💐

You may well be interested in contacting the Samaritans. They run Facing the Future which is a support group for those people who have experienced the suicide of a loved one. This is a free online service.

I'm so, so sorry. Life can be really shit. I hope you can find the strength you need. xxx

Oh so sorry I lost my dad 4 years ago now, in not to dissimilar circumstances and it’s a huge shock, 4 years on and I did some therapy to help me process. Be so kind to yourself and big hugs xxx