Spread mums ashes, now feel ill

[Emeraldiisland]

I have been very up and down since my mum died in February. I'm not sleeping well and still get jolts when I suddenly remember she's dead. I still can't quite believe she's gone forever. I miss her so much.
We spread her ashes on Sunday, which was incredibly emotional and I couldn't stop crying. Since then I've not felt very well. I feel cold and shaky. My head is swimming. I have to get up in a few hours and get DS to school and the thought of getting up make me feel ill.
I don't know what's wrong with me. Is it just a reaction Sunday? We walked to the place where we did the ashes. It was a long walk and since I already suffer mobility problems and lung problems it really took it out of me. Maybe that's why I feel so ill.
I suppose I really want to ask if you think my physical problems (cold, shaky, bad head, tired but can't sleep) are related to my mum dying and spreading of ashes and if so what's the best way to get over what's happened? Or is it just my health is so bad that the walk on Sunday made me ill?

Difficult to say. Stress can exacerbate illness. Worth a gp appointment to see how things are.

I'm sorry for your loss. I think it's probably a bit of both, but that's just guesswork based on what you've said. See if you can get a GP appointment, as the PP suggested. I have acid reflux which definitely gets worse when I'm uptight about anything. From my own experience and watching closely what's happened to my very elderly parents in the last few years, I've come to a new appreciation of how much mood affects physical health, or maybe just our ability to cope with what's going on in our bodies. My Mum has been a different person since going on an anti-depressant which has helped her cope with losing my Dad and her own serious health diagnosis. A big benefit is that she's now sleeping much better and not spending hours tossing and turning in the dark worrying about things. It might be worth talking to your GP about whether you'd benefit from something like that.

So sorry OP. These symptoms could be explained by grief even without the walk. Stay warm, rest, eat some comforting and nourishing foods. Be a good mum to yourself- your mum would want that.

It could be a reaction to grief. But if you were with people, have you done a Covid test?