I don’t feel how I thought I would feel

[Blanketbaskethandmaiden]

My father died a month ago in quite traumatic circumstances. He had been unwell, not terminal, but nothing could have prepared me for what unfolded. We spent nearly 2 weeks living in the hospital expecting everyday to be the day we were told that enough was enough. Other than twice during that time I haven’t really broken down, I’ve kept a bit of a lid on it around close family and when I went home I thought it would flood in. We’ve had the funeral now too and again nothing. I cried but wasn’t hysterical. I do cry sometimes but I always thought if something happened to my Dad it would break me. I went back to work this week as I felt bored doing nothing but I’m worried I’m still I shock/haven’t processed it and I’ll have some kind of meltdown.

There's no way to grieve op.

I was on autopilot for months after my mum died - I tend to just get my head down and get stuff done. Be prepared for it to catch up with you. Or not.

Just be kind to yourself.

Accept that anything goes, may take time.

I broke down a few times before Dad died when we had his diagnosis. His death was traumatic and was only 3 weeks (just under ( from diagnosis.

I cried a bit at the funeral but not a lot. It's two year on and I cry about it little and often I think. No huge breakdown. Just ongoing sadness and disbelief he's gone.

You're ok @Blanketbaskethandmaiden . there's no wrong way. X

My father died in December, also in hospital and traumatically. It took me a good six weeks after the funeral (in total ten weeks after his death) to feel much at all, honestly. It comes and goes now. Sometimes I'm fine, sometimes I'm not. I think it probably takes years to process loss and grief in any meaningful way. So I'd try not to worry about what you feel and when you feel it.

I was similar when my dad died. I did break down when I heard the news, and when I saw him in the chapel of rest, but i also went back to work quickly and it’s been 7yrs now and I cope ok. A close friend died last month and that hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt quite bad that I was more upset than for my lovely dad. I think as she was so much younger, we spent so much time together and I helped care for her in her final weeks. There’s no set way to grieve. It might hit you in a few months, it might not. We are all different. He will always be in your heart.

My mum took her own life a year ago. I've stopped feeling anything at all really. Cried once at funeral. Now just numb.