How do you remember?

[NewForestOldOak]

My son died recently. He was just 19 years old. It was sudden and unexpected, natural causes.

How do you remember all the stories? Do I need to journal them in some way? Does that help? Like when his voice was changing and I heard him in the kitchen talking to his younger brother, and I panicked a strange man was in our house. Small things, memories. Moments that were fleeting. I am frightened of losing those, do you lose memories? They are all I have.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I have a few suggestions. A memory box. Get a storage box and put things that were important to him in it such as his favourite T shirt, football scarf, CD of his favourite band, photos and so on.

Collate a collection of photos and put them in an album. You can get free prints from some companies.

Keep a journal beside you and when you remember something, write it down.

Organise a memory book. Ask friends and relatives to write things they remember and things they did together.

If you have any recordings of his voice, you can have them put in a soft toy.

I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my 22 year old son in an accident in 2022 and one of my biggest fears was that I would forget about him. I write things down in a notebook when I remember things from when he was younger that I don’t want to forget and I love it when I get messages from his friends if they remember something daft he did or said and just yesterday I remembered that when he was younger he went into my sisters bedroom and took a jigsaw apart that she had spent a long time doing and said that he wanted to know what it looked like before haha she was livid at the time but it’s now actually a lovely memory that we all laugh about.
I love that story of you panicking because you thought there was a strange bloke in the house haha I bet it made your son laugh too.
Me and my daughter talk about him a lot and random memories are always popping up and although the sadness is always there it’s just so lovely to be able to talk about him. You won’t forget your son I promise and I know there are no words but I’m sending you my love xx

Im so sorry @NewForestOldOakI can’t imagine how you are feeling but I just know that you will never, ever forget your boy x

Truly you will not forget - he is a part of you still.

If you fear that some lovely memories might fade, just jot them down and those that others come up with so you can revisit them when you need to.

I am so sorry that this has happened x

Oh I'm so sorry...my ds died 6 months ago and it is so painful. I did a 10 minute speech at his celebration and putting things down on paper really helped. We have a remembrance FB page for him and I have loved the photos and anecdotes his uni friends etc have put on.
I have some videos of him I've saved to my phone. I can't watch them yet but they are there.
It is truly shit xxx

Thank you everyone; for your kindness and ideas. All are great. So sorry for others losses too.

My son died in his first year at uni @Mikart i am not in touch with his uni friends a lot came to the funeral but I was on autopilot and didn’t get to speak to them all. I’m going to visit them before the end of term via student services and will ask for memories. I miss him so much, it really is the worst isn’t it.