How soon to get in touch after funeral?

[NeverEndingFireworks]

Three months ago a very old (Male) friend died, quite suddenly. We had been friends for almost 40yrs. For the past 20yrs or so he was in a relationship with a fabulous woman who I like very much, we've always been invited to each other's significant birthdays, family weddings etc - and she and I have met up over the years for coffee and catch up when I am in their city, which hasn't been often post covid as I've been dealing with being a carer - I used to go their city much more often before that. (I've only been about 3 times in the last year, for context, met up with one or both of them each time)

I really don't want this relationship to fade away, we're in our 70's now and finding people you REALLY like and get on with is not always that easy, but my friend struck gold with her and they were very happy. We said at the funeral, about 3 weeks ago, that she and I should meet up soon - I suppose I am asking "how soon is soon"? I'm sure they have all been dealing with a lot including all the practicalities, but I'm also super conscious now that time left is precious and I should be nurturing relationships with the people I actually like and care about....

It is never too soon. A lot of people fade away after a partner dies because they wait for the right moment that never comes.

Thank you - I think that's the push I needed!

If you're thinking of her, get in touch. Speaking personally, it didn't matter at all to me when people contacted me after dh died, I was just glad to hear from them. Overthinking it means a delay when she might be delighted to hear from you.

Do it now. We've had a family bereavement recently and after the funeral so many people just stopped contacting us. Your friend will let you know if it's too soon but I bet she'll be so pleased to hear from you.

If you’ve discussed meeting up in the near future then send her a message. Sometimes the time after the funeral is a really flat, lonely time.

Yes, it's never too soon. After the funeral a lot of people fall away. Those who stick around are the ones you learn are your people. The support is so much more important after the funeral going forward.

Thank you all, off to bed now, will message her in the morning - suggest meeting up later this week.