I lost my beloved gran coming up 2 years ago. Her anniversary of death will be on Mother's Day. She was the most wonderful person on Earth, yet died a horrible death after a long, drawn out illness. I sat next to her the night before she died, and waited until the undertakers arrived.
I have had the most awful year where I have had to dig deep and be strong. Grief, having to move house 3 times. Family not getting on.
I was supported unconditionally by one person who I met in the saddest yet most beautiful of circumstances, through my deep faith. I trusted her with my pain and grief, and I would not have got through year 1 without her. She became family when my actual family didn't really bother. On gran's first anniversary, we lit a candle, prayed, and even laughed. She won't acknowledge it this year.
Yet last November she totally turned on me, humiliated me and has left me so hurt. I was 2 weeks off finishing 10 weeks of grief counselling which I had been doing so very well at.
This year will be Mother's Day. I will sit alone in church, and be very dignified. I will wear my Welsh daffodil for my wonderful Welsh gran, and will take one posy for my mum and another to put on my gran's grave. It all feels so much harder this year, as I am hurting as well as grieving.
Not sure what I am trying to achieve. Just a bit of solidarity that if you too are finding Mother's Day hard this year, you are in good company. I will remember you too.