Makes everything else seem insignificant

[Scotcheggsontoast]

Has anyone else had this, since my mum died one positive is that nothing else seems to matter? Ie. Before I used to spend a lot of time thinking about my divorce/being a single mum/worrying about various other things. Now that all seems trivial and I can't imagine being as bothered about them again. I wonder if that will wear off, or if after something so big happening you do just get more perspective on life?

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum in 2006 and my Dad in 2023. What you’re describing sounds completely normal to me. When we go through something as profound as losing a parent, a lot of the things that once felt overwhelming can suddenly seem insignificant by comparison.

This shift in perspective might stay with you in some ways - you may always see certain worries differently now - but as time passes, everyday life tends to creep back in. That doesn’t mean you’ll go back to being consumed by those worries, but you may find that they start to matter again in a different, perhaps healthier way.

For now, just allow yourself to be where you are.

Thank you. I'm feeling quite guilty about finding anything positive about it. But can't help feeling like it's a break from missing my ex / worrying about what a mess my life is!

This just trumps the lot!

Yes it’s normal and yes it’s temporary…in my experience. In a way- as in big things may never seem that big a deal in comparison to a huge loss. But you will get irked over little things again… no doubt.

Yes this is my experience with loss too. Lost a parent too prematurely and it really put things into perspective. Life is too short has become such a common saying we have almost become desensitised to the fact. It is too short.

It was not just my own so called problems that became trivial but friends too. They would talk to me sometime and i would find it mundane and almost irritating. I used to think ive lost my mum and you think you’re in ‘trauma’ i know i sound terrible.

But your whole perspective can shift.

Yes I'm sure other worries will creep back in, the difference being I now don't have my mum to talk to about them 😭

Really hoping a change of perspective and a 'life is too short' attitude stays with me to a small degree at least though.

I felt exactly the same and want to say it was quite freeing in a way? I felt guilty for feeling that way but I definitely know how you feel. I agree that I hope the old worries and irks don't creep back in. Everything else is insignificant when you lose someone who means everything.