Advice how to help mil without feeling like a fraud

[Notasherry]

My lovely fil died two weeks ago after a short illness. It was a shock as we thought he'd recover, despite him being 81.
My mil is understandably struggling. I'm supporting her the best I can, me and her are very close.
I ring in the morning and visit most afternoons. My DH has been taking care of all the arrangements and I'm trying to provide emotional support.

I feel out of my depth, like a fraud as her loss is so great, and I've never experienced a loss to the same degree as losing your DH of 60 years.

What can I say to make sure she feels validated, understood and not on her own?

You don’t need to experience something to help someone else through it. De-centre your personal feelings of fraud and concentrate on your feelings of compassion and the help you are providing in her time of need, there’s no set formulae of what to say - just listen, validate her feelings and be guided by what she needs.

@Notasherry , listen to her, hold her hand, give her a hug, make a cup of tea, listen to her again. Share your memories, cry, tell her how much you loved him and how much you love her, ask her what she needs. Listen to her. There isn’t a rule book. Well done you sound a wonderful wife, daughter in law and soul, I’m very sorry for your loss. X

Agreeing with @Icanthinkformyselfthanks - be present. Cry if you feel moved. Answer her comments, do any other little thing you can. Well done to your DH for managing the admin side of things. Also, be prepare to keep visiting. The first months, with lots of arrangements, admin and chores are busy but later there is, perhaps, too much time ... So if you can go to visit then and help with the boring stuff like bins ...

Can I add share some nice memories of your FIL, they can bring a lot of comfort.