Death of father

[BoldViper]

I don't even know if this is going to help
I lost my dad 13 days ago and I've done pretty well until today. I just feel this overwhelming pain, a gigantic feeling of something missing. A hole in my chest. I miss him so much and I just want him to come home
How do I move forward, I can't bare this feeling it's awful. Funeral on Monday and I don't know how I'm going to get through it.
My boyfriend ended this 2days ago also because he found how I was feeling stressful.
The one person that would know the answer would be dad but I've pleaded, begged prayed but I'm getting nothing but this feeling of loss

I am so very sorry for your loss.

My dad died last year. He was 92 and I'd looked after him, increasingly, since lockdown. The last three weeks of his life I lived with him.

When he died what I did to cope was one job after another - sorting out his possessions for charity shops etc (finding ones that would accept donations was harder than I thought), preparing for the funeral and lunch after, finding people to take his furniture away and hopefully use it again. Busy, busy, busy, don't stop. That worked for me (kind of).

Nearly a year later, I miss him, I often think I must ask him this or that. I've also hoped that he's ok! I answer myself 'No, silly woman, he's dead!' But I hope there's an afterlife and that he's found my mum and his parents and feels loved. Yesterday I thought 'Oh, he might have met John Wayne!' One of his favourite film stars. 😂I'm daft, I know.

I think the way to move forward is one step at a time. Just one small thing, then another. Very best wishes to you.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve been there and I can promise it won’t always feel like this. 13 days is nothing, it’s so raw. Would you like to tell us about him?

@BoldViper I'm so sorry for your loss of your wonderful Dad. Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent 😓 and your boyfriend leaving you so shortly after his death, I have no words for that.

As others have said just take small steps and do whatever you need to get you through each day, it's a long road.

Is it normal to want to die? I would never end my life but is it normal the thoughts I want to die

I think so, not that you want to die but you want to be with them wherever they are. You've been through a massive shock, nothing else will ever be as big as this.

I lost my Dad a few months ago. It’s massive. The pain and depression is quite overwhelming, for me it’s been much worse than I expected. I’m slowly feeling a little better, you sort of get used to it in a way but I still have a cry most days. I talk to him a lot which helps me. And I’m acquiring a blue tit obsession as he loved the blue tits in his garden!
You’ve just lost your Dad, it’s so early for you. Just take it tiny steps at a time. Seek support whether it’s from friends, family or professionals. Look after yourself, grief is so personal.
There are a lot of Facebook groups about grief etc, I have found a little comfort from some of those.