Spring always the hardest time

[BagelAndBeagle]

My DH passed away in the spring almost 3 years ago, I have often heard others talk about losing someone close to them, and the feelings worsening at the time of year it happened, and now it has started to affect me too. Does anyone have any advice on how to lessen the pain over this period? I try to keep myself busy, plus we have a son together, so being the adult in front of my son is important to me, in the sense that I don’t randomly break down crying, because it affects him too massively

I'm just starting in my journey with this (DH died mid December), but I think that sometimes keeping the focus on "staying busy" does us a disservice.

I'm planning on keeping on with traditions and remembering, and making sure I have space and time to process what's happened.

Anniversaries are painful, but I know in my gut that trying a big holiday to get away from it would be terrible for me.

That’s what I’ve found too, I try to stay busy, almost as if to avoid thinking about him. But apart of me feels that’s wrong, and that I should remember more at those times, rather than almost run away from it. That’s the advice I’ve been given by professionals too, but it has taken me my own time to understand that

Can you access some grief counselling in the build up? Sometimes we just need to be able to speak about it freely, friends and family can be helpful - but they're also grieving in their own way too, so they're not always helpful I found.

If it's something to do with your son, is there a hobby or family activity you used to do together?
Or perhaps something he felt passionately about (music, cinema, theatre, sport) which you can do, or volunteer with?

It's still keeping busy, but also time to remember as well.

I do have a counsellor which I’ grateful to have the opportunity for, I find it to be very helpful, and you’re right, talking to others is good but it can also be hard since they too are suffering.

that’s a good idea, we used to go swimming which is something I still do occasionally with DS, so it’s something I could do more of. I’m sorry to hear about your own DH x

Struggling with this too. My partner died last may and it was a relief when the cold and dark of winter came and I could just hunker down. there seemed somehow less expectations of life. Am finding it hard now spring is coming round again..it used to be out favourite time too and would be all a buzz making plans to be out a d about. So yeh, it's really hard. I am trying to still make plans and get out into the good weather when it's there..I think that is helping. I can't ignore anyway. Don't really have many answers I'm afraid.

I’m very sorry to hear that, and please, don’t be sorry that you don’t have any answers. I don’t there there are any answers in something like this. Do you have people to talk to (friends and family?)

My gran’s second anniversary will be Mother’s Day. I understand you.
It really doesn’t help that the one person who supported me in the aftermath really hurt me just before Christmas. Last year we lit a candle together in the church, this year who knows.
Sending love and prayers to all of you