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Ex has died

4 replies

Justneedtotalkintothevoid · 09/03/2025 22:31

I'm not really sure why I'm starting this thread but I've just found out an ex of mine has died and I feel very weird about it. Not sure what's happened yet but I've got a suspicion it might have been suicide, based on our relationship. I should say that we split up a very long time ago, over a decade, and we were very young when we were together. I didn't realise it at the time but looking back, it was an abusive relationship - he was very controlling and used to threaten to kill himself if I left him. It took me a while to get over the trauma of the relationship but I met a lovely man and we settled down and are very happy and I hadn't really thought about the ex in years. He tried to add me on social media a couple of months back but I didn't accept. I thought it was strange that he would even think of me after all this time but I had no desire to rake up the past so I just ignored it. Now I'm wondering if I could have done something to stop him or if there was something he wanted to say to me. I guess I don't even know if it was suicide so that's maybe not relevant but I can't help thinking about it. I'm also feeling a bit angry I guess - although I had dealt with my feelings about him a long time ago, I think a part of me wanted him to realise how he treated me and apologise. I didn't really expect that to ever happen but now it definitely won't. Sorry this post is a bit rambling but I've got a lot of thoughts in my head and I just wanted to get them all out.

OP posts:
2025willbemytime · 09/03/2025 22:36

Can you let your anger go by accepting if he has taken his life, he was so unhappy he wasn't in a position to think of you and say sorry. You still have your life and are happy. He doesn't have his anymore. Take that as you need to.

Justneedtotalkintothevoid · 09/03/2025 22:46

Yes I think I can, and I do know what you mean. It is irrational. I think the guilt about whether I could have done something might eat away at me more over time.

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 09/03/2025 23:02

It’s not your fault lovely x

Justneedtotalkintothevoid · 10/03/2025 06:04

ohfourfoxache · 09/03/2025 23:02

It’s not your fault lovely x

❤️

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