How do you process losing your over 40 year old best friendship friend? best friend? friend

[Beautifulweeds]

I've had too many losses in my life, so many loved ones, each has been difficult, most of all my Dad.

Having sat at the bedside of my best friend the past few days, at age 52, this just seems too cruel. Yes I've lost people younger than this but not my BFF!

She's ways been so full of life, right up to the very end.

Just can't believe it, unbelievably painful.
She was always supposed to be there, we were in touch almost daily, how can I cope with this? You know that one friend who can talk to about anything, anytime and they're there, like I am for them.

Can't imagine life without her, my soul mate, my rock. Please tell me how you can manage this. Xxx

I've just lost my sister so feel completely the same. You'll find it's the smallest things that set you off. I moved my living room furniture around today in a sudden burst of energy and then felt incredible sadness that she'll never see it like this. It's really tough 💔

Lost my bf of 36 years to cancer over 5 years ago. It's such a difficult loss because you lose your best friend, your confidant, your shared history, the best funny version of you as reflected in their eyes. I was/am so angry that our future had been robbed from us. I don't know what to say other than at some point you still miss them.like mad but at the same time you are grateful you had them. I do get lonely without her as she was just amazing but somehow you do survive. I just want to give you a hug x

I think you cope by knowing that you were blessed to have them for even such a short time. My mum died early 60s ... but I know I was truly blessed and I wouldn't swap those 40 years I had with her for a 100 with somebody else. That is the mark of the value of a relationship.

I’m sorry to read of your loss.

The thought of losing my BF of 41yrs (we’re also 52) would be devastating.

I remember my Mum losing her BF to cancer, it was heartbreaking. Thankfully, her BF’s family included her in everything during and since her friend’s death 15years ago. This has made such a difference for my Mum as generally people underestimate the grief associated with a friend’s death.

Take care

My oldest friend and college roommate is going to die by the end of this year. Its devastating. There is nothing other word for it.

Sending you so much sympathy. I am currently in the same boat with a very close friend, she is 57 and dying from cancer. I am close with my friend but she isn’t one of my life long friends. I’d imagine that brings even more grief as you have that lifelong connection. This is the first friend i’m losing and it’s been so fast, 9wks since diagnosis and she doesn’t really respond at all now as the cancer is in her brain.

I don’t have any advice, as I am struggling so much with this. I have my friends dog too (we met through our dogs) and that brings more heartache for me as she really wanted me to keep him but circumstances mean I just can’t. Have kept him for 2 months and take him 2-3 times a week to see her, and found him a lovely home with a friend. Friend is dying thinking I will keep him, didn’t want to cause her any upset. It’s led to many tears, but he is gradually settling with new family and genuinely settled and happy.

It’s so true. I am struggling more with my friend’s death than when I lost my dad. I think because my dad had lived a long life and battled illness for many year. But friend is 52, only diagnosed on 1st Jan. My family and childhood friends are 250 miles away and friend was someone who had a key to mine (I had one for hers too), the person you can call if you’re running late and need someone to pop the dog out. She would always say yes of course and be there in minutes. We saw each other every weekend and have confided in each other so much. Losing a friend is tough, and I do think people don’t understand. That said, colleagues, other friends have been incredibly supportive and keep checking in. I think they are all equally upset about the speed and nature of this (cancer had spread to the brain).

Thank you so much everyone for your meaningful responses. I hope you find peace somehow, it's heartbreaking 💔 xxx

This was me 2.5 yrs ago. Lost my best friend of 46 yrs to cancer. We had been best friends since the age of 7. She was the sister I never had. It was 3 months from diagnosis to her passing....barely any time to get my head round it. I visited her every day in the hospice. Just devastating. She's left a massive hole....I always felt so lucky to gave a true, rock solid bestie, now I don't have that. It left me numb, angry, sad, bereft.... a myriad of feelings. She was my confidante, always supportive and full of good advice. She was fun, so full of life and she loved life and grabbed it with both hands. it's hard to believe she's gone....but she is and time has healed a little... it will take a long time. Hold on to your memories, she'll always be in your heart. Hugs.

It is 2 years tomorrow since I lost my BFF.
She died suddenly of a heart attack, such a shock to all of us.
My friend was such a wonderful person, always trying something new, loved dancing, would go on cruises by herself.
I really miss her. One in a million.

I think it feels more normal when someone older dies than when someone the same age of you dies. My Dad died in his 80s and I was really sad but I didn't find as difficult, confusing and sad as when a close friend died. I didn't love my friend more than my Dad but it felt wrong that she died so young.
I also think that when someone the same age as you dies it stirs up all sorts of feelings about mortality. I never used to worry about health and people dying but now I do sometimes. It makes the world feel a little more scary.

💝to all of you. I lost my BFF of 35 years a few months ago to a completely unexpected cardiac arrest. It has been by far the worst bereavement of my life and as I recently said to my GP, losing a best friend has very little ‘ status’ in our society. If is lost a sibling I think I’d have had lots of cards, flowers etc. as it was some people have been amazing but others- mostly family- just gave condolences and never mentioned it again. And yes, they did know how extremely close we were. Edit: I was actually far closer to her than any of my siblings even though we are close.

I gave a eulogy on friendship at her funeral, the writing of which was cathartic even though the delivery was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I can’t advise on coping. I can say that 8 months down the line it is a tiny bit easier. I think about her lots, speak her name often and talk to her all the time. I’ve also made a real point of continuing to do things we previously enjoyed together. I know she would want that. And also forged a very close bond with her DD, looking out for her means I’m doing something for my friend (I also love her).

sorry we are all experiencing this pain.

I also lost my best friend of many years very recently. Honestly I'm devastated, she was my closest and oldest friend and I can't imagine my future without her.

Some people just don't get it, the depth of friendship and how devastating that loss is

I think that's a very kind thing for you to do. It means you are the one that might feel guilty or upset but your friend is spared that. ❤️

Thank you. I wanted to spare her that, and her dog has met his new family several times and really likes them. I know she would be ok with it and I feel less guilty now I’ve seen him happy with his new family. We are entering the final days now and I will be keeping a vigil at her bedside when her daughter can’t be there. Her little dog will be coming too.

I lost my best friend about 8 weeks ago, aged 35. We’d been best friends our entire life, they’re the only person that truly knows me. So many shared experiences and jokes that only we get. I just don’t know how to cope. Sorry you’re going through this too op. Wish I could offer some advice. Do you have any mutual friends, we have some so I have been talking to others going through this loss which maybe helps a bit.
I’ve lost other close people too including a parent but really don’t know how to get through this one.