Supporting my boyfriend

[ElizaTh0rnberry]

My Father in Law died on Friday. Even though it was expected, it's just been shattering.

I'm so angry at the world for what it has done to my boyfriend and his family. There is a weight that is over us all and I'm struggling with how to support him and grieve my father in law myself.

I just want to go back to when he was healthy and well. Life as we knew it won't be the same and it absolutely sucks.

I've spent the afternoon sobbing as my boyfriend is out. I feel incredibly guilty for letting him see me upset. I feel like I'm supposed to be strong for him and he needs me to be that way. I hate feeling powerless. I just hate hate hate everything about our new normal.

@ElizaTh0rnberry Aww bless you. It’s really okay for your boyfriend to see you upset. There’s nothing weak in showing your feelings in front of him, it will help him show his feelings too. By showing your true feelings and crying in front of him will show him what a kind caring person he’s with. That will provide him with the strength and support he needs and also the support that you need too. Be there for each other x It such very early days x

You are so very kind, thank you. I had a full rage cry last night. I was so angry and so frustrated at how quickly time has gone and how we should have had more time with him. It makes me so sad to think about how young and carefree we all were 10 years ago before he got sick. A part of me would do anything to go back to that time. But we obviously can't 😅

Losing parents and parents in law is a very normal part of life. It's very early days. This won't be your new normal for ever. Things will change, slowly.

Thank you. It's my first experience and it's just thrown me off. I've lost grandparents before but this feels even more raw.
I guess it's because I'm older and can comprehend more.
We're all just muddling through

Hi there. I wanted to offer sympathy to you as I am also going through bereavement. I’ve realised that it is very difficult to be grieving and also be a support to others. Naturally you want to be supportive so do what you can without putting any pressure on yourself to behave in particular ways. I’ve realised that grief can be strange. All consuming sometimes then it ends and flows. I wish you well

Ebbs and flows

You are all very kind. We had a better day yesterday and so far today. Took the dog for a walk then sat outside with a coffee in the morning sun, just breathing in the fresh air and reminiscing about his dad. It's not even been a week yet and it feels so long.

But we both took comfort in the funny stories, the memories and the reminders of him that popped up this morning. He was an avid mountain biker before he got ill and the weather every single day since he died has been perfect mountain biking weather. A Robin also popped by to say hello whilst we were on the patio.
All coincidences but all reminders that we are alive and, even though we're in the trenches, we will pull ourselves back out.