Newly widowed, empty fridge

[Hisredipad]

My life is sad, my fridge is even sadder.

it’s never ever been just me, always been DH, me and the kids who now have homes of their own.

over the past few weeks since DH passed away the fridge has slowly emptied as I ate or threw away what was in it, but I find myself buying hardly anything to fill it, I’ve cut back on everything because I ended up throwing away things, so no more grapes, oranges, soft fruits every week etc because I bin more than I’ve eaten, this week I’ve got oranges, next week ill have grapes. But that’s pretty crap isn’t it because pretty much everything is pre packaged.

I hadn’t realised what a snacker DH was and how our shopping list was really based on what he liked to eat.

I freeze pretty much everything as it comes in if it’s at all possible, and cooking randomly from the fridge as I used to on a whim of what me might like tonight’s is now impossible.

Am I doing something wrong or is this just it now?

I’m so sorry for your loss. My DH died three months ago, very unexpectedly. I know what you mean about food. It’s so difficult suddenly being on your own and trying to decide what to eat. Quite honestly, I haven’t had much of an appetite and sometimes all I fancied was toast. Unfortunately this has now lead to me becoming anaemic. I’ve had to pull myself together and start eating better.

What I now do is shop little and often. Like you I was throwing food away, which I hated myself for. Little and often works much better for one person. I’m trying to have fruit and salad every day. Vegetables are mostly frozen peas or baked beans. I’ve found that you can open a tin of beans, eat half and freeze the rest.

It took me a long time to learn to buy for two when the last of the DC left home, after years of buying for six adult appetites plus regular extra visitors. That was hard but eventually I adjusted.

Cooking for one since DH died very suddenly has been so much more difficult and is something I still struggle with, nearly two years down the line. I think really it is daily reminder of a situation I neither expected or wanted and a future which had plans is now gone and in need of replanning.

I always did a lot of batch cooking but after years of batch cooking at volume I now restrict myself to smaller recipes and keep a range of hearty winter soups, summer soups and main meals so that I most of the time I avoid eating the same lunch or dinner two days running. I then just make a salad or some veg to go with dinner, maybe some bread with a soup for lunch. I've always tended to have soup lunches in Winter and salad lunches in Summer anyway. This way I am mostly eating decent food rather than the early months when I just did not want to bother at all.

The other thing I’ve started doing is batch cook and freeze, so I have a ready meal handy. It gives me something to do as well.

Oh and yes - keeping a range of frozen fruits and some frozen veg is a good way to reduce the waste whilst still having variety on hand. I also sometimes buy Merchant Gourmet packs or ready cooked mixed grains for use in quick salads/meals and freeze some cooked grains in small portions for similar use.

When I am on my own when DH is away I find myself eating things like scrambled eggs with mushrooms and bacon, poached eggs on toast, omelette, lamb chops and baked potato , tuna melt and in the summer a lot of salads which I love

I find it easier to eat fruit in the summer without any going to waste as that's when all my favourites are in eg strawberries, raspberries, melon, pineapple etc

For snacks /treats I like a small portion of nuts, mini cucumbers, scone, tea cake, a small chocolate bar, finger of fudge ,

I am nearly 5 years widowed and it took me over a year to adjust to cooking for one.
I have resigned myself to spending more on fruit & veg in order to be able to buy small amounts and not waste any.

I also shop twice a week - I find the 'weekly shop' ends up wasting to much food.

One of my go to meals is wraps, tortillas filled with cooked chicken, grated cheese & salad. I buy chicken breasts & cut them up, marinade them with lemon juice, oil & spices & fry it in a little oil.

If you like tuna make an easy tuna pasta. Fry some chopped garlic & add a small tin of tuna that you have flaked. Season & serve over pasta with lots of chopped parsley.

Don't forget that eggs are a meal as is soup. I ate a lot of both in the early days.

I use a lot of frozen veg - so much more economical.

Sending my sympathies to you - it's so tough but you will learn to cope (with everything) as time goes on.

I thought I’d be on top of food by now but it’s just as difficult as ever, I’ve come back to re read the posts here as a reminder of what I found useful.

one thing I’ve been doing is putting fruit into see through tubs with lids and it keeps well, and I’ve put other things into old ice cream tubs without the lids, so half used veggies in one, one full of baby spuds etc, easy to whip out for using but fills the fridge more, it’s a visual thing but helps my sad brain.

have a good selection of meals frozen now and trying to eat only one specific thing a week, made a huge lasagne yesterday for family coming but we only ate two thirds so froze portions for one for next week and beyond.

have been thinking about going on a cookery course for Chinese, I do a pretty good cheats Chinese using supermarket sauces but would love to cook more from scratch.

That sounds like a good idea.

Get out, learn a new skill, meet new people, have to buy a load of ingredients that will fill space (and keep well) AND get good food?

Lots of positives.

All sympathy. You don't know until it's gone.

When unexpectedly my DH went into hospital and then hospice, during those four, short weeks we discovered who was eating all the crisps!! Every week, for the shopping I was buying loads of different crisps but after DH went away, suddenly no one was eating the crisps. Even with teen DDs, we aren't getting through the crisps...

Cooking interesting food for one person is tough. I dimly remember my spinster days. Currently, I'm content to eat 2 meals running or to swap them ABAB and possible change up the veggies or sides.

I couldn't bear to empty the fridge, which was full of things he had bought and I would never eat - I had to ask my cleaner to do it in the end. I managed to steel myself to throw out the frozen casseroles my husband made over a year ago. I'm never going to eat them and it hurt too much to see them there. Today I packed a lunch for work, and it was his writing on the top of the tupperware..... beef casserole. Small things still jolt me over 6 months on.

@ProudFriend its the most unexpected things that get you isn’t it. I’ve found it hard to throw things in the freezer that were DH’s, I can’t delete his favourites from the shopping favourites even when I don’t buy them anymore and nor do I eat any meals like we shared together

It's these little things that we just don't talk about, isn't it. 😪My son loved pineapple and I would regularly buy it in even when we weren't living together, so he had something in the cupboard. Although he died recently, I've been carting about a tin of pineapple rings for yonks now.

Gousto have started doing meals for one - probably because places like Stocked do it - but it's there, at least.

Coco pops. I haven't bought them for 22 years.
My DS was the only one that ate them.