Widows Fire

[CaptBirdsEar]

After losing my husband, of course I was grieving, but at the same time I craved sex. I didn't understand it as I'd been celibate for years.

After about 9 months had passed, I went on a dating site and hooked up with a man, younger than me, just for the pleasure of having sex again.

It's only recently I've heard about widows fire and that it's a common thing for widows and widowers to crave intimacy, touch, closeness, after losing a partner.

I don't feel so guilty now.

Hi @CaptBirdsEar sorry for your loss They did an article about widows/widowers fire in Woman and Home a while ago but in the print edition. I dont know if they also put in on their website

Thank you.

I saw something in the Mail and had a light bulb moment. That was me!

4/5 years on I'm happy in my life.

I'm really glad to hear you are happy in your life. I am just 9 months in and sat here after a yoga class just not believing I can find that again. So thank you for giving me some much needed hope.

Do not feel guilty at all. Absolutely anything goes to get through this horror. I have heard of widows fire but not experienced it. Sticking to yoga for now 🙄

Never feel guilty for something harmless that helps you deal with grief. I'm glad it helped.

I'm sorry to hear that. It's not an easy journey you're on. What helped me was finding a forum for bereaved people and through it found my friend who was on the same journey.

Thanks.

It didn't last beyond a couple of months and I realise now why I did it.

I had raging fire from about 3 months in. I quenched it often in the first 12 months.

You started earlier than me, I was 9 months in. Glad I'm not the only one, I expect there are more!

DW died nearly 9 months ago after a relatively short illness. I’ve found that whenever DD and I go away then return home, I desperately miss DW and this seems to trigger what I can only describe as Widow Fire, but I also assume it’s a need to replace intimacy I no longer have. I’ve gone as far as joining a few apps but not brave enough to make contact with anyone.

I joined Chapter 2 a while ago and have made some good connections on there with other people in the same situation. They also have a Widow Fire hookup style app which I also signed up for but it has very few members.

Women's Hour (BBC radio 4) did a very interesting programme about Widow's Fire. It can probably be found on BBC Sounds.