Life seems futile without DM…

[FlowerPotForever]

I lost my lovely mum 3 years ago.

She died a horrible, undignified death after a long battle with cancer that eventually stripped her of everything.

Before her death, I hadn’t really ‘achieved’ anything in my life and lived what I consider now quite immaturely. Since then I’ve somehow managed to gain a fairly good career, moved to a lovely home, am engaged to be married and have had a beautiful little one who is the light of my life.

The problem is it all feels … off. As much as I’m grateful of what I have I always have a niggling sadness that DM isn’t around to be part of it and to see my child etc. I don’t have any other close family so I feel like I can’t share the joy with anyone.

Not sure what I’m looking for other than if anybody else has experienced this and if they have found any ways to cope with the sadness.

@FlowerPotForever

I think the death of a parent is a huge huge life event. If you have a loving relationship a strong mother - daughter relationship is like the foundation of a house. Its your bedrock. You don't even notice its there but its the reason the rest of the house built and is stable.

You think it will be there forever and even though a rational part of your brain knows it is likely your parents will predecease you (not guaranteed but likely) the emotional part doesn't compute it. Death is a great shock to the system.

I don't think you are alone and I still feel like life will never be ok at all. I would focus on your child because your mother lives on literally genetically in your child. I am in your position without any children so it is hard for me to be motivated to do anything because as it turns out making my mother pleased with my achievements was a huge motivator for me.

something else that gives me comfort is knowing what my mother would say. we were very close and I think if you know someone well you can kind of channel them mentally by for example if you are feeling down, thinking of them and what they would say to you if you told them how you were feeling and why.