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Bereavement

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Advice please?

1 reply

viixta · 11/02/2025 23:45

Long story cut short...

I had my 1st ever boyfriend aged 14 at school. We just kissed and held hands etc He was a full boarder - his parents lived and worked abroad. Even back then he felt abandoned... I digress.

He was expelled from our school, so we broke up and he went to another boarding school miles away and we lost touch, although I heard through the grapevine that he sadly got into drugs.

Fast forward, 7 or 8 years and I heard that he had tragically died related to drugs. He choked on his vomit alone in his bedroom.

Fast forward another 20 years and his absentee parents move back to the UK and coincidentally make friends with my parents at a local golf club. Neither my parents or his parents make a connection.... Until I meet/see his parents at a function and put 2 & 2 together.... I told my Mum and she didn't want to raise it in conversation with them for fear of bringing back any bad memories....

So, my dilemma is that I still have love letters and cards and photos of their son from when we were teenagers and when they were absentee parents (we were 14 then and I am now 45). My thought is that they should have these in memory of their son? Should I post these to them anonymously? Or should I make contact and talk about him/his letters and cards etc?

OP posts:
muggart · 12/02/2025 17:51

Yes I think you should post photocopies of the pictures to them, not originals in case they get lost in the post but maybe mention that you can give them the originals if you want. i don't think you should be anonymous, why would you need to be anonymous?

Don't mention all that stuff about them being absentee parents though... you don't know why they sent him away. They might've gone to boarding schools themselves so thought it was normal or have had health problems etc.

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