At the end of October I experienced a trully horrible miscarriage at 12 weeks. This was my 3rd loss following 2 happy pg. Unlike my other losses however this was harrowing with waters breaking, contractions for 30 hours and v. heavy blood loss with a 999 rush to hospital. 1 week later I had a blood clot which had to be removed but other than that there was no surgery and they let mature take its course. Anyway needless to say I decided to wait till after Christmas before trying again!
4 Weeks after my loss I had a day of spotting but it never turned into a period. 2 weeks later more spotting. Then last week a tiny bit more. Then I started to feel really sick and it dawned on me maybe I was pg. A test proved positive but I was sure I had already lost the baby. However my symptoms got stronger and stronger so that I actually began to hope this little one might make it. But today I had another bleed. Not enough to be a mc but enough to convince me one is coming.
I feel so desperate. I don't want to see a Dr or mw preferring to let nature take its course but I just feel like a time bomb. I cannot understand how I got pg - apart from one night of carelessness 2 weeks after my loss. This must have been it but given what I went through physically I cannot imagine how I ever convieved. I just wish my body would get on and get it over with. Blood loss in my case has never had a happy ending and I just cannot believe my body is ready for pg. It is my own fault. I should have been more careful and can't beleive I let myself get into this position again. This is going to be a great start to the new year......