Dss died last year. He was 16. Not cancer or suicide but annillness related death.
Understandably DH is finding it tough at times. He is working with therapy and support groups. He has a lot of anger. I have posted under my usual name but I need an outlet not linked to that so have changed names. MN can verify me. But been around long enough for penguin bollards and cancelling cheques.
I have coped to a point, however one of my dearest friends died over Christmas and I am struggling with my own grief over dss and friend. My own dd is also devastated over the loss of my friend. She had been a massive part of our lives and her and dd were so close.
It's almost the year anniversary for dss and DH is finding it all really hard. I have reached out tonhis friends, his mum and his sister. I have asked them to reach out amd support dh. I'm not sure why. Dss's 17th birthday came and went without his family bothering their backsides. But infigured as they know my friend died and that my dd is upset they would understand and reach out as requested.
They haven't. In fact the response from mil was something along the lines of how do we help you help him. I toldnher he just needs to know they care. He just needs a call or a message from them.
He got fuck all. Not a text, not a single word.
I am funing and i sent a polite but stern message that i am angry and hurt and they are being massively unfair leaving it all to me.
Dh knows. I was so angry and upset and i ended up talking him. He is fully supportive of me. He knows how hard things are and he isntrying so hard not to put all his grief on me. He is also massively pissed off at his family.
They have still not been in touch.
I am on my knees. I am.not sleeping. I can't focus. Iwam.falling to bits because i have nonwhere to turn. I need them to pick up the slack with dh. They haven't een any support whatsoever since day 1. All they have done is sob at me and offload at me.
I appreciate dss was their relation too but they barely knew him. They never came to visit and dss overheard something when he was much younger. It was out of context but he wouldn't forgive them. But ultimately he was dh's son.
I don't have it in me to keep doing this. I am crumbling and I need help to support him sonthat I can grieve myself and focus on dd.
Am i being selfish or are they being dicks?