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Bereavement

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Sick note worry

8 replies

cooljerk · 02/02/2025 19:34

My husband of 16 years died ten days ago. He died suddenly, and was well three days before being admitted to hospital. We the family didn't realise (weren't told) how serious it was, and had no opportunity to say things that needed saying before he was put into an induced coma, from which he never emerged. It was sudden, unexpected, and traumatic.

He had a drinking problem and we separated 18 months ago. He made this exceptionally difficult and did not accept it.

I still loved him and only wanted him to be okay, but I feel he did not got over the end of the relationship.

I feel crushed by guilt and grief. I'm devastated. To make already complicated grief even more complicated, there is a distinct whiff of negligence on behalf of the hospital where he was admitted.

I have been signed off for eight weeks by my GP on the condition I get bereavement counselling.

When I present my sick note, I know my workplace and going to challenge it and be difficult about it.

Can they force me back before eight weeks? I have been working for 30 years and have never had a sick note before, so I don't have any experience with this.

I am not sleeping or eating and am constantly on the edge of bursting into tears.

Thank you in advance for your wisdom. 🙏

OP posts:
mainecooncatonahottinroof · 02/02/2025 19:39

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It would have to be an exceptionally cruel workplace not to accept your sick note. I've never heard of an employer challenging one, but I'm public sector.

I think they'd be expecting you to need time off.

Take care x

TheAphrodite · 02/02/2025 20:04

Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss OP. Take this time to focus on yourself with work as one less worry for you.

I'd not hand it in face to face, I'd do it via email.
something like, "Please find attached my sick note, which confirms that my doctor has signed me off for eight weeks following the passing of my husband.

Please let me know if you need anything else from me"

Keep it brief, don't say you will see how you feel and come in any earlier that your sick note states.

I'm sure they wouldn't challenge it with you and if they do then I would seek advice from your union rep xx

TY78910 · 02/02/2025 20:58

Hello OP. I am truly sorry for your loss.

Bereavement and sick need to be treated separately. Your sicknote will be issued based on the mental health aspect of bereavement, and your need for counselling to help you through that.

Your work can't refuse this sick leave as you have been assessed by medical professional who said you really need it.

The question here would be, how much company (if any) you have, as this is usually accumulated throughout the length of service, and any other sick leave that you may have taken this year so far. There is also statutory sick leave and this can either be paid or unpaid - you can find those on the government website.

I would also strictly recommend following company reporting procedure, so please check this. I know PP has suggested just emailing, but if that's not the correct process then you're sick note might not be acknowledged and you'll have issues with that.

TY78910 · 02/02/2025 20:59

Sorry was meant to say company sick pay in the second paragraph

TheAphrodite · 02/02/2025 23:56

completely agree with @TY78910 s reply. I only could speak from experience how easy it was for me when I was signed off work with depression. I'm fortunate to have a manager who I could link in with via email who was happy to receive the documents that way.

I do hope your employer treats you fairly during this difficult time OP xx

cooljerk · 03/02/2025 16:15

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I have an overwhelming need to be left alone at the moment. Work sent me a message in response to the one I sent with my sick note, but I can't bring myself to open it.

OP posts:
familyissues12345 · 03/02/2025 23:18

Ah bless you @cooljerk Flowers. If it would help, would it be useful to ask a friend to open the email on your behalf, so you can at least reassure yourself that work are being nice?

Take care of yourself xx

TheAphrodite · 04/02/2025 12:43

yes 2nd having a friend there when you open it. I was the same when submitting mine.

hopefully they are kind with you OP xx

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