Inquest after a suicide

[AuntieMarys]

Has anyone gone through this? I'm not attending but am dreading it.

There is a series on Channel 5 called Cause of Death, that shows the whole process of when the coroner is called in and when it needs to go to court. It's very interesting and not at all sensationalist and shows you the whole process. It's also very sensitive to the families involved.

Sorry to hear this what bit are you dreading @AuntieMarys

I have attended an inquest which could have been found to be suicide. Misadventure recorded.

If you have any questions I will try and help.

It's my ds's inquest tomorrow

So sorry to hear that @AuntieMarys I can understand why you don't want to attend.
Do you have support around you tomorrow? 💐

How sad and difficult, AuntieMarys. Just wanted to respond so you know you're not alone tonight as you get ready for tomorrow. Do you have support lined up?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

So sorry you have been through such an awful loss.

I went through it with my DB. the inquest was fine. Very sensitive and respectful coroner. Just dealt with the facts. It was not an ordeal and did bring a sense of signalling it was time for us to move on, if that makes sense. I hope you have a similar experience.

Yes, lovely dh here. I don't want to know the awful details...I know how he died which has been traumatic enough and has given me sleepless nights.
Ex is handling it all.

Hi @AuntieMarys . Firstly, I just wanted to say how very, very sorry I am for your loss.

I have been to a coroner’s inquest after a suicide. It obviously wasn’t an easy day but it basically was the coroner asking questions regarding if there was any possibility the passing could have been suspicious, and if any lessons could have been learnt. The whole thing was done very sensitively and she ruled at the end that yes, the cause of death was suicide by x method and then advised a review into some of the care services involved. The whole thing was obviously formal, but didn’t feel as formal or as intimidating as a court, if that makes sense?

I suppose this may be different for each case but that is my experience.

I hope you have support in real life.
With all my kindest 💐

My mum committed suicide and an inquest was held.

It was actually not anywhere near as bad as I'd imagined, it was a very factual and impassionate recounting of events from the professionals involved. So the police officers who attended on the day explained what they saw, the coroner described their findings and there was a statement from the GP regarding previous medical history. Then an official verdict on cause of death was determined.

Everyone there just wanted to be able to finalise the situation as efficiently and delicately as possible.

Nothing more to add OP other than I'm so sorry for your loss

Sending a hand hold.

Yes, I have been through the process with my DH, decades ago, but I assume the process is still similar. I'm assuming this is the final inquest, rather than the first one to open and adjourn the case?
It was held in a meeting room in the court, not in the actual court room. The pathologist read out her report, that was medically detailed so prepare yourself for that. There may be other people giving statements, in my case there was a police officer, but I was surprised to see someone who had known him who I didn't know very well there, and this person gave a statement, no one had told me he would be there.
I was given an opportunity to ask questions and I did ask one or two. I had already provided a written statement so I didn't need to read that out, the coroner briefly asked me some questions about it. Then the coroner gave his verdict, there was no doubt what it would be. There was also a newspaper reporter in the room, be prepared for that possibility.
It was all very calm and professional and as gentle as they could make it and everyone was very kind to me. But I won't lie, it was a very painful experience, it was only 4 months after his death, but it only lasted a short while then was over.

Edited as I've just reread and you're not attending. In that case presumably your ex will give you a summary of what happened? Might I ask why you have decided not to attend?

Thank you all for your kind words. The inquest is 250 miles away and I am not in a good place mentally to attend. It's only 4 months since it happened and I know how...I really don't want to know further details at the moment.
Ex is sending me the report.
He's already had a detailed report of the death/ PM from the coroner and wishes he hadn't read it.

So sorry for your loss @AuntieMarys

The getting through today will be hard but all of thr days are hard at the moment. Be kind to yourself.

The inquest will be done with sensitivity but will be making sure that all the right questions have been asked to establish firstly was it definitely suicide (even if definitely self-inflicted the coroner can conclude that there wasn't evidence of a clear and conscious intention to die as opposed to being self-harm/cry for help etc). Secondly was there any evidence of coercion or another person being involved at all. Thirdly what lessons can be learned - what support structures and sources of help failed to spot this danger. This last will hopefully help prevent other families from going through what you are.

It's good that you are being supported by family / DH / ex but I really recommend having some 1:1 sessions with a grief counsellor who isn't emotionally involved themselves. There's no correct pathway through this awful time but it would make a difference.

I attended the inquest held for my son, who killed himself. I could try to answer any specific questions that you might have. I'm not sure how helpful it will be, though. I guess that there is just a terrible horror involved that won't really be eased by knowledge of procedure.
I know that coroners' offices do provide links to sources of support, and also that it is part of the job of coroners' staff to be there for you and deal compassionately with any questions that you have. The relevant coroner will have a webpage with info.
Our inquest lasted a week, as there was quite a lot of complexity to it and a jury was involved. But I think that generally they are much shorter. It may all be something of a formality, with all of the various reports essentially just being read into the record.
There is an atmosphere of respect. At our inquest I was able to read out some words about my son for the jury to hear, to help them see the whole person, not just the incident. I found that all the formality of the procedure - things like standing when the coroner came in - helped to establish an atmosphere in which my son and his life were acknowledged and valued, not just lost in bureaucracy.

Yes I have counselling in the pipeline. I've coped ok to now....had a house move to do and also have a broken shoulder!! I'm having a facial later today and there's a coffee cake in the cupboard.

I am so sorry you lost your son. How terrible for you. 💐

Thinking of you @AuntieMarys I really can't imagine how you are feeling.
When you are ready and if you want I would love to hear about your son..
Do you have other children?

For today relax and enjoy your facial and coffee cake sounds gorgeous. I am recovering from an op and my friend bought me a carrot cake last week, I will have a bit later with you ❣️

Thinking of you today Auntiemarys, sending a gentle hug x

The inquest was adjourned as new evidence came to light too late for coroner to examine. So will be later in the year.
Thank you for your kind comments.

I am so sorry that you have lost your son and I am sorry that you have to wait so much longer for this procedure to complete. In our case it was sensitive and straightforward however it was reported (accurately and not sensationally) in the local paper which I wish we had been prepared for.

So sorry for what you're going through.

Unfortunately I had to sit through this with my father. They do go into an awful lot of detail. Some I knew, some I didn't. Some I can't unhear.

You may decide later down the line that you do need those answers.

With the level of detail I received, it went a long way to healing the unresolved and put the puzzle together.

Can you keep the report in a sealed envelope in case one day you feel the need?

Again, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine your pain.