My father has recently died and we weren’t close, so I feel a mixture of grief for his passing as well as the grief we didn’t have anywhere near a ‘normal’ relationship and now that chance for me has completely gone (I don’t feel guilty for missing that window - I am sad and angry for how my father did not live up to being a father).
I always expected that there would be some sort of send off / funeral, however I recently found out it wasn’t his wish and now I feel that this is going to be harder for me to find closure (as there’s no opportunity to speak with others who knew him well and see him one last time).
Im taking some time off work to have that space to think about things and come to terms with his passing.
Has anyone been in similar circumstances and have any advice on how to grieve solo with no funeral?
I have a very small family and my fathers friends / relatives live in another country and I am not close to them (I wouldn’t mind speaking to them at a funeral when a lot of people come together, however ‘rounding’ them up or seeking people individually is completely outside of my comfort zone), so advice for me to take as an individual would be appreciated.
Many thanks.