Lost Dad

[Betneyblue71]

I lost Dad suddenly 6 days ago. I'm here trying to support my mum but I am struggling myself. He was my world and although he was elderly it was very sudden. I am getting to sleep then waking up after 3- 4 hrs and not going back to sleep. It's weird, but I relish the time I am awake through the night but its accompanied with
also about feeling guilty for sleeping .
Did anyone else have this in the early days of loss?

I'm so sorry about your dad. It's so bloody awful, isn't it? You're supporting your mum, as is right, but do you have someone to support you? I hope so.
I didn't feel guilty about sleeping but I know people that have. I wanted to sleep and sleep, not that I always could, because when I was awake everything was all too real.
People have all kinds of emotions when a loved one dies. None of them are right, none of them wrong. We can't change how we feel. We deal with our grief the best we can while incredibly, life goes on around us as normal.
I wish you long life @Betneyblue71 and hope that your dad's memory will be a blessing to you. x

I don't have anyone supporting me. My brother went back after 3 days and he's never been a talker. I'm a nurse and am also anxious about going back to work. I told my boss 3 days after it happened that I would be back next week but I've since contacted her to say it's too soon. I'm only contracted for 8 hrs a week, the rest is bank nursing so if I don't work, I don't get paid.
I'm worried about going back to work in hospital too soon but also know I can't put it off forever. I'm completely torn. I also don't want to take advantage of my boss as she is so good.
I'm with mum for now but I live 3 hrs away and I need to get back to sort a few things out. I live alone and have no real friends.
I really don't know what to do for the best.

@Betneyblue71, I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. The early days are very hard I found. I was exhausted and desperate to sleep but found I couldn’t sleep much as my brain was simply going over everything endlessly.

Going back to work so soon, particularly in a hospital environment, might be quite intense I imagine. Do you have access to anyone you can talk to through work?

I lost my Dad in October, and ended up taking 6 weeks off after he died. I’m a teacher and realised I simply couldn’t deal with people in the way I would need to at work. Can you claim SSP for a week or two just to give you a little more time? I know it isn’t a lot but it does sound like you could do with a bit more time before going back.

Here to talk if you want to.

Thank you. I guess I just have to take it day but day. My boss is great, but she has had a lot of bereavement herself and is a stoic woman who returned to work within a couple of weeks, so I'm worried that she may not understand if I need more time off and that I will be considered weak. My dad really was my world. The most loving, humble man you could ever wish to meet. I have no idea how I will cope with life without him and my work is a big part of that. The way I feel now, I would be happy never to return to nursing. I know dad would understand that. I have given 35 years to caring for others.