Two years in

[PersephonePomegranate23]

Hi everyone,

Just a post to get things off my chest. My DH died two years ago. I thought I'd been doing pretty well so far, I'm getting on with life and quite happy most of the time, but in the last week I've just been floored by a resurgence of grief. I know I shouldn't be surprised, really, Christmas and New Year have that affect on the bereaved, I'm just finding it really difficult at the moment, like in the earlier days of bereavement.

I know it will ease off at some point, I'm not depressed, just extremely sad and missing him so much.

I'm on 2.5 years. It's really odd isn't it, weeks and weeks can pass and feel fine like everything's doable, then something out of nowhere just brings it all back to crisis point, like you've only just properly realised they aren't here anymore. You suddenly remember all the very important reasons why they surely should still be here and all the ways they were so unique and amazing.
It feels unbelievable again.

It hurts so much during those times.

Big hugs to you Persephone

Thank you, that's exactly it, I couldn't have described it any better. I think the permanence is really setting in.

Big hugs to you too and everyone else who is missing someone. x

Thank you, that's exactly it, I couldn't have described it any better. I think the permanence is really setting in.

Big hugs to you too and everyone else who is missing someone. x

Yes the permanence sets back in for me after the surprise bite of the grief.
Like you have to go through it again.

I'm very sorry for your loss/losses

To everyone with grief.

Mines my mum. It's my birthday tomorrow and she's definitely not here.

Hugs xxx

Hugs to you, @Tcateh , those big days are so difficult and stir it all up again. I hope you make it through the day as peacefully as possible x

I'm so sorry for the loss of your DH, it's so hard and you are doing well to carry on (sorry that doesn't mean to sound patronising)

My Mum's passing last year has made me worry about my DH and him passing in a way I never did before, even though we are still relatively young - I think death has that effect on how you look at things.

I hope you have some brighter days coming your way soon x

Hugs op 💖

It's not patronising at all, thank you for your kindness.

Sorry that you've lost your mum 💖You're so right, you can't really go back to your old self once you've experienced the death of someone close, your perspective definitely shifts.

Thank you x

I'm on the same time scale as you and I have felt similar recently- a new wave of lethargy and numbness.
I think it's connected to a new year taking me further and further away IYSWIM.

I definitely feel this is something to do with it too. It's complicated, isn't it? You don't always feel things when you expect to.

Hugs to you. X

I also send hugs to you. I was sorry to hear that you are feeling low. I reckon it is a sad time for you indeed. I have an aunt who is very religious and she tells me to make sure I remember all the happy times I had when I tell her I am feeling sad due to a bereavement. I agree with others who have mentioned the sadness comes and goes. It is a natural reaction. I hope all the messages help you.

It’s fifteen months since dh died suddenly and completely unexpectedly. Everyone tells me how well I’m doing but this last week I’ve been feeling so lonely without him. His stuff is still all over the house and in some ways I’ve been almost kidding myself that it’s not real and that he’s going to come back through the door after going on a long bike ride and everything will be back to normal. I think the permanence of his absence is starting to be more apparent. It does help to know I’m not alone in feeling like this.

You're definitely not alone @Pleasedontdothat 💐

It is odd how the 'fear of the permanence of it all' sets in after a while.
I really wasn't expecting it either - no-one had ever mentioned that part of grief.

I fear I'm going to forget certain things about him as well.
2 weeks ago my son (15) said he's forgotten what Dad's voice sounded like so we looked up some old footage of him and that was upsetting.

I still can't really come to terms with never hearing his voice or his laugh again or even his very annoying answerphone message. I tried ringing it a few times to hear his voice but obviously the number no longer exists.
That's still irrationally disappointing even 2 and a half years later.