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Bereavement

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I lost my dog and the pain is too much to bear

14 replies

Moonbearlove · 03/01/2025 14:27

Hello, my gorgeous little 16 year old dog (chiuaua dacshund criss) died suddenly on new years day and I'm inconsolable. I had her since she was 3 months old and she was just the most wonderful, sweet, loving, loyal, funny little dog I've ever known Her health had deteriorated in recent months. She was very thin and had a grade 5/6 heart murmur which she took medication for. The day she died she seemed no different to normal. My daughter had her on her lap in a blanket and I went up to have a shower as well as clean it so I was probably up there at least 45 mins. When I came out I heard my dog yelp twice. Her voice was strange. It was close to her tea time so I thought she was barking for her tea. I went down to the living room to find her lying in her soiled bed, eyes glazed and her mouth opening and closing. I shouted up to my daughter whether she knew what was wrong but she said she didn't. I rushed her straight to the vet but my darling girl had died on arrival. The vet said it was probably heart failure. The pain was indescribable. I arrived home with my dogs body in a box. I explained to my daughter she'd died. She told me that when she was holding her she started coughing so she put her on the floor. She said she walked a little then collapsed, her eyes staring ahead. My daughter said she was scared and didn't know what to do so put her in her bed abd she went upstairs to read in her room. Meanwhile I was in the shower totally oblivious to it all.

I've been crying non stop for the past 3 days. I'm wracked with guilt that my darling dog was dying all alone and I'm mad at myself for spending so bloody long in the shower instead of taking care of her. I knew how ill and frail she was why didn't I just have a quick shower? I also can't help but wonder whether the way my daughter was holding her could have put pressure on her heart, hence the coughing and that this may have caused a heart attack. I haven't said any of this to her of course. I didn't want my dog to die this way and the guilt is tearing me apart. I miss my darling girl so much I don't want to go on any more. I just want to be with her. The house is so quiet and empty without her. I haven't just lost a dog, I've lost my best friend, my baby. She's been constantly by my side the past 16 years. I hate going to bed as she used to sleep right next to me on the floor jn her basket. I'm lost without her. I just don't want to carry on now that she's gone.

OP posts:
littlemissprosseco · 03/01/2025 14:30

💕💕💕
She will always be in your heart.
You need to speak to friends and family about how you’re feeling. It is normal

BrightSnail · 03/01/2025 14:32

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've got nothing I can say that will make you feel better, but didn't want to read and run. One of my cats, young and perfectly healthy, died in a freak accident when I was out of the room for a wee (so a matter of minutes). I say this in the hope that you'll understand that this could have happened if you'd had a quick shower, or no shower, or whatever. You did what you could in the situation you were in. Do you have some support around you?

Ihateboris · 03/01/2025 14:40

No words will stop the pain. I lost my labrador last October and the pain is indescribable..i think about her every day. All I can say is that the pain will lessen as time goes on xxxx

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 03/01/2025 14:41

Your lovely dog died in her own bed at home, it sounds very quick and painless. She felt safe and loved 🥰

You have nothing to feel guilty about and it's the end I would hope for with my own dog.

OrinocoGlow · 03/01/2025 14:43

I am sorry, it is so painful to lose a much loved pet. She had the best life with you, please hold on to that thought. The pain will subside a little (it will in time) and you will have lovely memories of her. But it is a huge loss and you will always miss her.

Bizarred · 03/01/2025 14:44

Oh you poor thing. You could not have known, and your daughter is obviously too young to have understood. Your lovely dog was at home, in her bed - the best place to be. I'm so sorry she's gone. Xx

Polkadotsandpetersham · 03/01/2025 14:50

Op I am so very sorry for your loss.

If it’s any consolation we had a daschund who died in very similar circumstances and from the very same heart condition.

I am so sorry but there was absolutely nothing that could be done because, although we didn’t realise it at the time, once they stop having enthusiasm for their food, it’s a sign that their time has come. And once their heart gives out, they cannot be revived.

It could have happened when you were out of the house or further away. Please don’t blame yourself for taking a shower. You responded when he called out and you couldn’t do anything more.

You gave your dog a lovely long life and although he lost weight towards the end he didn’t have long drawn out suffering and days of being in disabling pain or not being able to breathe which is a good thing.

I know how you feel though because they leave such a huge hole in your heart especially when it happens unexpectedly. Our dog had been off his food but was urging us out for a walk the evening before he died having already had two walks that day! We’ve come around to feeling grateful for this as we know he enjoyed life up to the end, even though we felt distraught at the time.

I am so sorry op. I know nothing will
stop you missing her very deeply. Some dogs just have those personalities that draw us to them 💐💐💐

Hoosemover · 03/01/2025 16:20

Pet loss can be devastating. I lost a cat of nearly 21 years in 2022 . The blue cross bereavement services Website is useful. They have a Facebook community. I found it reassuring that people were going through the grieving process had similar experiences to myself.

anon12345anon · 03/01/2025 16:27

Oh @Moonbearlove I am so so so sorry.

I know exactly how you are feeling, and it really is the most painful thing.
Be kind to yourself, only time eases the pain - but please try and console yourself with knowing she had a fabulously happy and lovely long life with her beloved hoomans x

Unfortunately, grief is the price of love - but it will get better, just roll with it for now x

sending you hugs and Flowers

Moonbearlove · 05/01/2025 13:48

Thank you all so much for your replies. I'm so sorry for your losses too. It's now been 4 days since I lost my darling girl. Today is the first day I haven't cried. I have to get on with life as a have a daughter to look after and I'm back at work tomorrow. @Hoosemover thanks for the recommendation. I rang their bereavement helpline and it helped.

OP posts:
AMurderofMurderingCrows · 05/01/2025 13:54

Oh my darling, but she didn't die alone did she. She was with you.

Unfortunately it is only time that helps. I lost my horse last year and it was awful. I still cry about my cats who have passed but you do get to a point where you can think about them with so much love and laugh at their wee quirks.

I'm sending so much love and strength to you ❤️ remember to take care of yourself too.

Ffs, now I'm crying 😭 😂

Appleyo · 05/01/2025 13:55

My heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry for your loss. Whatever had happened you’d probably have blamed yourself. You gave your lovely girl a good life, and did all you could. Administering heart medication every day certainly will have cost you a lot - but love is as love does!!

Zanatdy · 07/01/2025 04:36

I am so sorry. Please don’t blame yourself. It’s hard right now, but it will get easier. So hard to get used to the house without them in it. Sending you a big hug

BettyBardMacDonald · 07/01/2025 05:08

My chihuahuas died that way too. As I was sobbing at the vet, the kindly man said "the heart works, until it doesn't... there was nothing you could have done differently."

I'm sorry you lost your dear girl. She was happy and knew she was loved. 💐

Can we see a photo of her? If it's not too painful.

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