Hello, my gorgeous little 16 year old dog (chiuaua dacshund criss) died suddenly on new years day and I'm inconsolable. I had her since she was 3 months old and she was just the most wonderful, sweet, loving, loyal, funny little dog I've ever known Her health had deteriorated in recent months. She was very thin and had a grade 5/6 heart murmur which she took medication for. The day she died she seemed no different to normal. My daughter had her on her lap in a blanket and I went up to have a shower as well as clean it so I was probably up there at least 45 mins. When I came out I heard my dog yelp twice. Her voice was strange. It was close to her tea time so I thought she was barking for her tea. I went down to the living room to find her lying in her soiled bed, eyes glazed and her mouth opening and closing. I shouted up to my daughter whether she knew what was wrong but she said she didn't. I rushed her straight to the vet but my darling girl had died on arrival. The vet said it was probably heart failure. The pain was indescribable. I arrived home with my dogs body in a box. I explained to my daughter she'd died. She told me that when she was holding her she started coughing so she put her on the floor. She said she walked a little then collapsed, her eyes staring ahead. My daughter said she was scared and didn't know what to do so put her in her bed abd she went upstairs to read in her room. Meanwhile I was in the shower totally oblivious to it all.
I've been crying non stop for the past 3 days. I'm wracked with guilt that my darling dog was dying all alone and I'm mad at myself for spending so bloody long in the shower instead of taking care of her. I knew how ill and frail she was why didn't I just have a quick shower? I also can't help but wonder whether the way my daughter was holding her could have put pressure on her heart, hence the coughing and that this may have caused a heart attack. I haven't said any of this to her of course. I didn't want my dog to die this way and the guilt is tearing me apart. I miss my darling girl so much I don't want to go on any more. I just want to be with her. The house is so quiet and empty without her. I haven't just lost a dog, I've lost my best friend, my baby. She's been constantly by my side the past 16 years. I hate going to bed as she used to sleep right next to me on the floor jn her basket. I'm lost without her. I just don't want to carry on now that she's gone.