Loosing my unreqainted love

[TaraRhu]

I feel
Like a total fraud even posting this. Today I found out that an old old friend of mine died. I had t seen him for a long time. The thing was I always had feelings for him. He had them for me too. We kissed a few times but I could never fully admit to him how I felt. I suffered from very low self esteem back then and just didn't believe he just didn't feel sorry for me. Looking back I can see he did like me. I always regret. We had a strong connection - I felt like I could read his mind. I could tell when he was close. I could tell when he was going to message. D somergjnv g stopped me opening up to him. I've always had dreams about him.

I moved on I married someone else who I was able to open up to. But to be honest the initial connection wasn't as strong. I will never know what could have been abc will never ever see him again. I just thought one day I would. But I won't. I vagtvreally tell anyone how devastated I am. How will I get over it?

I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like regret is making it harder for you.

It's such a cliche, but time really does heal. I thought I would die of grief when my mother died, but eventually the world normalises again. I liken it to one of those snow globes, where everything is shaken up but eventually everything settles back similar to how it was.

Sending sympathy xxx

Thanks. The regret is the main thing. The sadness is immense too. Why him? Why now?

I can't really openly grieve as I don't won't my oh to know why I'm so upset. To be clear , I love my dh. The timings with the other guy never worked out and we moved to different places. There were a couple of times where we could have but I didn't go for it. But I never forgot him. I've been talking to a friend who knows I had feelings for him and that's helped. I will hopefully be able to go or stream his funeral to say goodbye. Today I feel extremely low though. Teary. Depressed. I have so much other stuff on my mind too. His death is a tragedy. It was very unexpected. The shock.