Being an adult "orphan"

[Shubbypubby]

I feel ridiculous calling myself an orphan as I'm 44, a mother myself, fully (sort of) functioning adult etc but being parentless has hit me in a really profound way.

I lost my dad nearly a year ago at 43 and lost my mum when I was 22. They weren't perfect parents but I was very lucky in that they were loving, kind and provided me with a happy childhood and stable home. I stayed close to my dad after my mum died and we grew a lot closer as adults.

I now feel so lost and like a little child. I feel like I've no safety net and very alone, despite having good friends, lovely children, good relationships with other family members.

I've lost that unconditional unwavering love that you only get from (good) parents- someone who is always there for you no matter what. I also got divorced a couple of years ago so lost the safety net of a partner but romantic love is always conditional and usually finite.

Can anyone else relate?

Oh my gosh OP, I could have written this myself. I am 43, my mum died suddenly when I was 9 and my dad died this July.

You have explained exactly how I feel. The unconditional love part made me cry. That is exactly it. Spot on.

I feel so lost and like I have no one to care for me. I have a child and partner but it isn't the same.

Yep. Same here. Lost dad to suicide 5 years ago, DM to cancer in March when I was 39. I was doing 'OK' until Xmas. I just couldn't get into it, it feels so lonely.

I feel homesick

Can I join? Lost Mum when I was 38 and Dad when I was 48, both after long illnesses. No kids or partner. I miss my parents enormously, but their illnesses were difficult. Now life is peaceful, if a bit quiet. I really have my moments missing them sometimes. I miss them always, but some hours are worse than others. No friends have lost both yet and most still have both, so they don't understand.

It will get easier, and I do think that our departed loved ones are always with us.

So heartening but also so sad to hear of others who feel the same. Hugs to all of you 💐