Should I tell my mum I’m pregnant when she has lost her brother?

[7GEMM7]

I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant just as my mums brother (who was her best friend) died in her arms. It was a horrible disease that killed him and my mum was with him every step of the way through multiple hospital admissions over the last 9 months but nobody expected him to go so quickly. It has been 3 days now and she is suffering from trauma and such grief and I am finding it so hard to watch. I had to take her to hospital with chest pains too. I have been wondering if it is the right time to tell her I’m pregnant to give her some hope and happiness where there is currently none? Or do I just let her grieve her brother and wait a couple of weeks.

Wait a week

5 weeks is quite early to be telling anyone anyway so I would wait a little bit.

Definitely wait at least ten days. Your mum needs to make sure she's not got an illness herself, let things settle. Generally people don't tell for twelve weeks in lots of cases so there's no obligation. You tell when you want but in this case, I'd give your mum some time.

She might annoyed she didn't know sooner, she might wish you'd waited. Be prepared for either and both.

Wait until you are at least 10 weeks, or ideally 12.
Congratulations on the pregnancy but 5 weeks pg is too early for telling someone who is already in a fragile mental state.

I would wait until you’ve had the scan to be sure everything is ok before telling her.
Shes been through a lot. If you tell her now she probably won’t react how you expect.

I would only wait a week or two and then tell her. Give her time to process the shock of his death. I know he was ill, but it is still shocking for someone to actually die even though you know it will happen.

I would wait until you’ve had a scan at 12 weeks. I had lots of early losses (5) and my mum took them as mini bereavements too. When I told her while she was grieving another family member’s death it compounded that grief as she felt she was grieving a potential grandchild as well.

I would wait 7 weeks.

Don't tell her yet. If he died just three days ago, she's probably still in shock and it will be a lot to process. Wait a week or two.

Congratulations by the way

wait about ten days if you want to tell her pre scan. She’ll likely be more receptive/able to feel the joy then.

I'd wait at least a week if you're close. And although I'm hope baby is thriving I'd be most worried about you having a miscarriage and her having to process that on top of grieving her brother. Can you get an early private scan before you tell her?

Wait a few weeks. She's probably not in the right headspace right now .
She's going to be grieving for a long time and I think your pregnancy will definitely be something good for her to focus on to get her through, but she doesn't need to know right now

wait at least 12 weeks

I didn’t realise you could get these so thank you! I am researching now for an 8 weeks scan.

I would wait until after the 12 week scan for all the reasons given by pp.

I know it must be really hard to see her suffer, but truly, it is right and normal to feel terrible after such a shocking and sad event. She doesn't need cheering up, she needs time. Healing is a long process and I have no doubt a grandchild will eventually be a big part of that

By wait 7 weeks I meant wait another 7 weeks ie 12 weeks (or after a scan at that point - sometimes you’re scanned at 11 or 13 weeks depending on hospital list)