My dad

[Bibbie]

I empathise with everyone that's lost their dad. I lost my dad 12 weeks ago today. Really weird I accept he's gone really quickly. He was 90 couldn't look after his own personal needs, had mild dementia. Didn't want to end up in a nursing home (ask me the day before he had to leave home if he could have a leathal injection) broke mine and his heart. He was my hero my dad was we were so connected with each other. I cried lots before the funeral. But since his funeral I feel he's at peace. I don't feel like I'm greiving anymore, felt like I greived more when he was in the nursing home. Has anyone else felt like this? Or is it going to hit me in the future I feel very confused tbh.

My mum lived into her eighties , with several serious health issues. She was a real optimist, always made the best of everything and had a strong Christian faith. After a short illness she decided not to accept further treatment and her children were all with her when she died. At the time, although it was obviously very upsetting, I felt she'd had a good life and was now at peace. Friends and family kept telling me that the grief would hit me eventually, but twenty years on I have only ever felt a calm acceptance.

My Dad died about a year and a half ago. Grief has come and gone for me, significant days like anniversaries and his birthdays have been hard. It doesn't feel linear at all, and I have been floored by the pain of the grief at times. I miss him. I am so sorry for your loss and sorry there isn't a straightforward answer.

I think when there’s a visible decline the grief starts prior to losing them , everyone feels things differently but alongside incredible sadness I felt relief that we was free and escaped the usual end to Parkinson’s which would have rendered him incontinent etc.

My Dad died about 6 years ago , in his late 80s , had really bad dementia ( didn’t know us , incontinent , couldn’t walk etc ) I didn’t cry at all
I did grieve in different ways , I couldn’t think straight , left my credit card in Tesco , lost my car keys , that sort of thing

When my mum died , of cancer in her 60s , I think I cried every day for 2 years

Noone knows how they’ll react , whichever way you grieve is personal and if you feel relief that he’s no longer suffering that’s not wrong

I’m sorry for your loss 💐

Ah bless your dad. That must have been a heartbreaking thing to hear him ask. I lost my dad very suddenly 4 months ago. He was 76 so relatively young but he wasn't in great health physically and mentally. I feel like I'm doing okay for a couple of weeks but then it hits me when I least expect it. I think it will just be up and down for a while & I won't beat myself up about that. I just wish I could give him a hug & I hope he knows how much I love him (I'm pretty sure he does)
Love to everyone going through this x

My dad's in his late 70's and has been suffering with dementia since he was 74. He's been in a nursing home for the past couple of years.
All through my life, and more in recent years before the dementia he always said he would hate to be in a nursing home. Told us he'd rather be giving an injection than lose himself and be such a burden on people.
He's still alive, but I feel like I have been grieving loosing him for the past 3 years, as his dementia has gotten worse and worse. When he does go, I can't help but feel it will be a blessing for him. The end of the confusion and suffering for him.

When my mum died suddenly a few years ago, I don't think I've stopped grieving yet. The crying has mostly stopped, I think about her everyday but it's more "controllable" and with fondness.
The anguish feeling during certain occasions when I wish she could experience some with us still happens occasionally, but I feel I can control it better now and not let it spiral.

My dad died suddenly and at the age of 60 a few days ago. He was in so much pain and suffering that he said to the nurses and mum to please let him go to sleep a few hours before his death. He didn't want to suffer. I feel OK as we prepare for the funeral. I'm glad we spent so much time with him in the last 10 years and that I got to say goodbye. Its strange because I feel calm. I know it will hit me more when we go back to day to day life and he isn't there.