DF died 2 weeks ago

[RedxRobin]

I guess this is not really asking for advice but more of a handhold. DF died 2 weeks ago and I'm really struggling today. He had advanced cancer and was told he had months left to live but I still feel blindsided by it. He declined really rapidly at the end and was dead within a week of his decline. The last two days I spent with him he was unconscious.
I don't really have a job where I can take time off. I work pretty much on my own so there is no-one to pick up the slack. I took a little time off the week after but find myself really struggling now.
DM came round for lunch yesterday for DD's birthday and it hit me especially hard not having DF there and not seeing his name in DD's birthday card. I hadn't expect it to hurt so much and I feel like its been 2 weeks and I should be pulling myself together but if feels so hard 😥

Go to the doctor. Get signed off with stress you need some processing time. Work can wait

It's shit isn't it? You shouldn't be pulling yourself together at all, two weeks is no time at all. Grief comes in waves and you've got a lot of "firsts" to get through.

I lost both my dad and mum in similar circumstances and it's tough. Go easy on yourself - there is no right or wrong way to grieve or recover from bereavement.

Sorry for your loss OP. Two weeks is nothing in a major bereavement and you need to gently pace yourself to live with the terrible pain until it gradually eases. It will but it will take time. X

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard, and I think one day you feel almost normal, then the next it feels like you have been scraped raw. Can you get yourself signed off for a bit?

I’m on a very similar timeline, my DF died 3 weeks ago and DM was over for DD’s birthday over the weekend. I really felt his absence. Here to hand hold and talk whenever you find it comfortable.

So sorry you're going through this OP - it really is shit isn't it.

We're on a similar timeline. We found my mum dead on 2 November and no, it's way too early for any of us to be pulling ourselves together. Although mum had mobility issues after a fall, her death was so unexpected and I think I spent the first week or so in shock, coping on autopilot. Her mother and her mother's mother died in their late 90s, so I kind of assumed mum would pass at a similar age (naive I know).

The grief is literally just hitting me in the last couple of days. And the stress of sorting everything out on my own (my 'D'B would just like me to pop the inheritance in his account after everything is sorted) is enormous. My step mum sorted everything out after my dear dad died, so it's the first time I've dealt with this brick wall of bureaucracy.

My mum and I sometimes had a 'complex' relationship, and the level of grief I'm feeling has completely and unexpectedly overwhelmed me.

Also here to hand hold when you need it.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think you are expecting far too much of yourself at the moment. Two weeks is very, very early days for a major bereavement. You need to allow yourself plenty of time and space, and you need to be kind to yourself too.

Sending love. Be kind to yourself. My ds died suddenly 6 weeks ago and it's awful. Give yourself a big pat on the back at the end of every day...you got through another day. X