Gift for widow?

[Treesaregreen1]

Friend lost DH in tragic circumstances recently. Has moved house and I want to buy a house warming gift, something related to her DH but is more than just a photo.
any suggestions? Or did have you received a nice gift for a love one who has passed?

How about something for the garden, if she has one? Could be a tree or shrub she can watch grow, or if you think that might be too much stress at this point, something like a bird table or small garden ornament (more tasteful than a gnome maybe!). If you've got some cash to throw at it, a bench she could have engraved with his name could be nice? Or just a metal letter with his initial on that she could put in a nice sunny spot and make it a place she can go to and remember him?

Or did he have any hobbies or interests you could 'reference' somehow? If he liked baking, for example, you could get her a nice cake stand?

Or how about a framed map of a place that was special to them that she could hang on the wall. Maybe where they went on honeymoon or where they met?

I bought a friend of mine an angel teddy, with a photo of her husband on last year, as I wanted to get her a gift and knew these were amazing as bought them for my children with photos of my Mum on them.

Despite being older, she absolutely loved it and it brought tears to her eyes. Baby Bundle Gifts on Facebook make these, and Sarah does them beautifully and they are such good quality.

I’ve bought loads from her as they are brilliant.

Here is the link, and photo of the teddy:

https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1B7xteSvHi/?mibextid=K35XfP

I would tread very, very carefully here unless you know her tastes extremely well.

It’s a really lovely thought but this could well be an incredibly sensitive area, & what one person considers a lovely remembrance - jewellery with a lock of the loved one’s hair, for instance - might make another person cringe. But then they’d feel guilty at not appreciating the kind gesture.

Find a plant that has his name. Or a beautiful plant or tree that flowers when he died/his bday or something.

A rosemary plant, it symbolises remembrance.

As a widow, I would advise against trying to link your gift to her DH, it has every chance to feel intrusive.

Just buy a lovely gift she will like.

You sound lovely btw.

This and only this. I was given a framed photo of my late husband by a friend, and it was not one I would have picked at all, but felt compelled to be appreciative. Thankfully people knew me well enough not to give me a memorial teddy bear either!

As another widow, I second this. I really don't think trying to link a gift to her late DH is a good idea at all and it might actually really upset her.

I bought a friend of mine an angel teddy, with a photo of her husband on last year

I agree with treading carefully because one person's taste is not anothers and this is particularly true in grief

I am recently bereaved (not a DH) and if some one bought me anything with my loved one's image on, it would really upset me. Personnally (just my taste and not criticising anyone who likes it as we are all different) I would find that angel teddy horrific as I don't like it at all and not reflective of the dignity of their life.

I would then be deeply deeply stressed and upset that I wanted to throw away something that had their image on and was in memory of them which seeing upset me. I would be anxious and agitated that deposing of something I hated and upset me to see at all would be disrespect of my loved one's memory and also of the donor. I also wouldn't want to just put it into the bin incase it was picked up by bin/tip surfers. So I would angst about how to destroy it - and would probably think I'd need to burn it rather than cut it up. Even thinking about this is upsetting.

I am setting this out here just to make the point that grief especially raw grief is a very sensitive time and what you think is nice may cause upset to the bereaved because of their point of view.

I would avoid linking it to the DH but if you are set on that and have an idea, float it gently by your friend making it very clear you are asking because you don't want to upset her and if (Eg. a tree to plant in his memory) wouldn't be ideal she should let you know. Even a tree or something to plant maybe too much if she isn't in a space to want to do the labour to plant it or look after it.

Personally I'd go for something comforting like a soft fleecy throw or something new for the house. a nice china mug of a good size.

As others say her bereavement and closeness with her DH might feel very personal and private. So to try and commemorate him in a gift could come over slightly wrongly. I know neither me nor my mum would've wanted anyone giving us teddies with my dad's name on it or whatever when we were bereaved.
Just something nice that doesn't require any effort on her part. Ask her if she needs anything for the house. If not just ask her out for a nice meal or to a show/play/bar she likes.

As a recent widow, I would advise against trying to represent her late DH with your gift. Do not assume (make an ass out of U and Me) or presume anything.

Choose something nice that you know SHE would like. Just a normal gift you would give anyone moving house like a pair of nice mugs or a box of biscuits. Don't try to be clever, just be caring.

The reasons she's moved to this new house might not be what you think... Her relationship with her DH might not be what you think...

(PS that is a shockingly hideous teddy bear and I would be explosively furious if anyone gave me that for any reason!)