Vivid dreams - distressing

[Pleasedontdothat]

DH died very suddenly a year ago this week - it was completely unexpected and I’m still trying to sort out the financial and administrative ramifications so I still feel sort of stuck. In the last week or so I’ve been having really vivid dreams about him - but he’s really upset in my dreams and I wake feeling dreadful - has anyone had something similar?

I'm sorry for your loss 💐I hope you can take some time this week to reflect and sit with your thoughts.

I have always had very vivid dreams, and know how distressing and exhausting they can be. I still dream a lot about my (late) father, and I would describe almost all of those dreams as anxiety dreams, even though he had a 'good' death and we had no unresolved issues. It's really hard. Sometimes I wish I could reboot my brain so I had happy dreams or even no dreams.

My husband died in March and I was putting myself in your place and imagining how distressing those dreams must be. You had the additional trauma of a very unexpected loss, and it’s natural, as the anniversary approaches, for your brain to start processing that time again. It’s awful for you because it’s not something you can control. I wish I could tell you how to prevent those dreams, but try to remember that they aren’t real. Think what you would say to a child suffering nightmares. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

Yes - DH died earlier this year and for the first few months the dreams were very bad. He was in pain and there was nothing I could do. Then nightmares about searching for him... looking and looking. But they have eased and now he's there in my dreams - maybe every ten days or so. I wake with the shock of loss. But I'm sure this will get better. I hope so for you too.

Hugs OP. I’ve had very vivid dreams too after losing my dad, all of them have left me feeling very anxious. Usually involve him not being able to speak/interact with me, or him being in the distance and not being able to communicate. It’s really bloody awful and I have been waking up in shock with my heart racing…

Speaking about these dreams with my counsellor helped immensely though, I would really recommend that.