1st anniversary of df death

[Liz79k]

Two days ago was the first anniversary of my dads sudden passing. Up until the past couple of days I had reached a point where I was feeling okay and I was starting to feel joy again. The anniversary of his death has hit me like a bus. That awful feeling that comes with grief is back. I have not slept for two days, I'm crying and I feel like I've gone right back to the start. My stomach reacts very badly to emotional upset so I'm struggling with the horrible sick feeling and not wanting to eat.
Is this normal? Is it normal to feel this bad a year on. I'm so frustrated with myself for not being able to manage this. I thought I was stronger then this. It's as if this first anniversary has firmly cemented that my dad really has gone forever.

Sending hugs. The first anniversary was horrible for me too. It’s been five years now and it does get better. However I recently decided to belatedly get bereavement counselling. Sudden deaths are very hard to process and you are left with all these feelings to try and understand while everyone else moves on.

Thank you, I slept better last night and feel brighter for it today. I hope you get on okay with your counselling.

I'm sorry for your loss. When a parent passes away, the world just isn't the same anymore. I think that what you are feeling is completely normal.

I think the 1st Anniversary of anything hits you out of the blue.
I light a candle ( when I say light , it's an LED for safety ) candle on my Dads birthday .

I think back to something which is one of those little random acts of kindness . Something which probably the person who did it didn't think too much about but made such an impact on me .

When we were on our way to the Crematorium there were loads of roundabouts . As our procession made it's way along there was an HGV to our right (give way to your right rule ) . This driver stopped the traffic with his massive truck and held it up to let us by .
A tiny random act but it meant something that my Dads final journey a stranger showed this respect to him.

It does get easier but there are times when I see a man who dresses and looks like him and I nearly say "Dad what're you doing here "! but of course it isn't him !

It was the anniversary of my DFs passing 10 days ago. It’s very difficult, our DS came back overnight from uni - his idea - and it did help. I’ve made myself as busy as poss for a week afterwards. In some ways the anniversary has made me take a step back. I did think “I’m using his bottle opener/potato masher” etc. but also I have celebrated his life by looking at the photos of how fabulous he looked as a chap in the RAF in the 50s.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Yes it's very normal. How many years was your dad in your life? A year is just a small fraction of that.. so of course it still hurts.
They say during a relationship breakup it takes as much as half the time you were together to try feel like you are completely over it...
So how on earth could you recover from the loss of a beloved parent in less time??
My dad dropped dead unexpectedly two years ago last week.
I don't cry every day like I used to but the day of the anniversary of his death I was very upset..
Things have got better. I feel I'm dealing with it better but it's still very painful two years down the road.
It being a shock (he was in perfect health and only 62) makes it extra difficult to come to terms with.
There's still part of me that hopes it was just a bad dream.
I was chatting to him literally hours before his death..
It's very surreal.
It gradually gets better I think. But a year is still not a very long time at all.
Have you tried going to any bereavement groups?
I went to a local 'death cafe'. A group for people who had lost people. I found it really helpful in the first year or so. There were people with all different stories of all different ages and walks of life there.
There were two women around my age who'd both lost parents who have remained good friends with me ever since.
I found it helpful to be around people who understood what I was going through.

A year is a very short time @Liz79k and anniversaries are always such significant reminders of our loved ones. It's ok not to be ok. Your memories and feelings are still recent and raw.

DF passed 31 years ago in December. Time really is a great healer. Your memories and anniversaries will become easier in time. I see so much of my dad in my teenage son (who never met him) it can be quite spooky at times

Sending you comfort and strength to get through now.