My lovely dad is dying. 80% of the time he's sleeping, 15% of the time he's awake, lucid, knows that he's dying and is terrified. 5% if the time he's somewhere between the two. 12 hours ago he said to me I think me and you can beat this together. This morning he's asking why my Mum isn't taking him (she did 25 years ago). I'm a fully grown 40 year old woman and I'm terrified of living life without my Dad. I'm not ready. I don't know what to do, how to manage on my own. I'm so frightened. He's at home with me. Everyone says if you need something call us. I called the nurses yesterday for his pressure areas. They were short staffed. Nobody came. The worst thing was being made to feel like I was being a nuisance. The nurse I spoke to just kept saying, oh I don't know what to do really, we don't have enough staff to offer you a visit do you think he can wait until tomorrow? No. No I don't. That's why I called. You promised you'd be there and when I needed you, you weren't. You said you might not have the dressings in stock. Well you might not have, but now it's going to be another day to wait for them. He's a 98 year old man, a WW2 veteran, our family have worked in and with the NHS for almost 60 years between my siblings, my Mum, and me. I promised him I'd look after him and I can't do that alone. He doesn't want to be anywhere else and tbh even if he did he wouldn't survive a journey. His carers are so poorly trained I can't leave them to manage him. When I do he ends up with his groins red raw from not washing/drying properly or they try to give him a sweet when he's laid down flat. Everyone said they'd be there. But the reality is there's nobody. I'm so sorry for baring my soul here, you are all going through your own grief, you don't need mine too. I just don't have anyone else I can talk to like this.