Book as a gift

[JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome]

Hi there
My friend has just lost her ex husband who is her children's father.

I want to give her something but not sure what. I hate giving flowers when people die as the flowers then die.

Recently I gave a friend a photo frame when her mum died but it's her ex so doesn't feel the right kind of gift.

Was thinking some kind of inspirational book maybe.

Thanks

Does she have any interests? Gardening, architecture, travel, film...?

When my partner died a friend sent me a (classy, minimal) scented candle, I really appreciated that.

When a friend of ours died, we gave his widow a plant of a type that had significance to the deceased. I know what you mean about flowers dying, and I wasn’t sure a plant was the best gift as it demands effort from the recipient. It’s hard to know what’s best to do, but personally when I’ve been bereaved, if someone had given me an inspirational book, it probably would have ended up in the charity shop.

A plant, some nice toiletries. M n S used to do a bag full of goodies - jam, tea, biscuits etc. Probably still do.

I agree re candle or plant / nice toiletries or self care bits. Someone has to be ready for an inspirational book and it could land wrong depending on how they feel in that moment.

When my ex husband died a mutual friend gave me a copy of The Prophet by Kahil Gibran. I'd call it thought provoking rather than inspirational but it absolutely hit the spot.

That is one of my favourite books. So beautiful.

Yeah I’d stay away from inspirational and choose something more like the prophet which is basically beautiful poetry

Thanks everyone totally get these comments. I will have a little rethink. I might just take her round a meal or something instead that she can put in the freezer for a day when it's all too much.

When my dad died a friend gave us some containers of home-made soup. Nourishing & easy to eat/heat it was much appreciated, so a meal or something is a good idea

Meals are a really good idea.

A family member lost a baby recently. She most appreciated a Netflix subscription as she wasn’t sleeping much and a meals. I think a Cook vouchers was a good one.

Definitely food. You forget to eat.

If you do want a book then James Runcie's novel, The Great Passion, is just beautiful. It's a fictional exploration of love and grief through Bach's writing of the St Matthew Passion. You don't need to know anything about Bach or music - they are the vehicle for a portrait of life.

Homemade meals that can be frozen and heated up when needed. When we had some horrid news this was what helped us most. We didn’t have the energy or headspace to shop or cook so friends meals meant we ate well.
Friends brought lasagne, chicken curry, that green curry, fish pie. They included microwave rice pouches too. It really helped. If you don’t cook just choose some extra nice ready meals.

Meals are good. Means are always good at difficult times. It's so easy not to eat, or not to eat well.

I have also given a potted rose as a remembrance gift - they have all sorts of names, it is likely that you'll find a relevant one, but they won't be flowering at this time of year.