Do you ever think where your late relative would be if they were alive now?

[Juicyj1993]

Just that really.

I lost my Mum when I was 7, nearly 26 years ago now and in the last year I've been thinking about where she would be and what she'd be doing.

She was a single stay at home Mum when she passed, she wanted to get back to work but due to our ages, it was financially impossible. I'd like to think she got back into work, moved up in her career, bought her council house and would be currently moving towards retirement.

As I get nearer to the age she was when she passed I find myself comparing my life now to where she was and what she was doing and I miss her more now than in my 20s as I feel more connected to her.

That’s sad. May I ask who you lived with after she passed?

Yeah, it’ makes sense to wonder what would have happened to someone had they lived to be around now.

I suppose we could ask that question of anyone that died young though.

Yes.
Would now be a grandparent, would have a successful business, lovely home, partner and family.
Pride in their children, toddlers when they died.

I also wonder where my relatives close to them would be now had their death not occurred. How happy and completely different their lives would have turned out.

That Suicide over 30 years ago still ripples with utter utter desolate sadness with us, their family.

We will never ever recover.

Yes. I was older than you when my mum died (20) but I do similar. I definitely compared my life to hers once I reached the age she was when I was born.

And other milestones like the year she would have retired, wondering what that would have been like and what she would have done. If we would have celebrated, if she would have disappeared off on a cruise or got an allotment.

Sometimes at weekends I just wonder what she would have been doing and if we would have met up, what life would have been like if my mum had been here for me to host at weekends or pop round to see her. Mostly fleeting thoughts in the quiet parts of the day or if I see others with families.

As I get older I understand more just how much she's missed and we've missed out on together. Sometimes it is harder.

I think it's normal for it to play on your mind more as you approach the age she was when she died. Lots of women who lost their mums young talk about similar. It's a difficult milestone.