My Mum has just passed away

[Popandcrackle]

I got a call about 8pm last night, I’m on holiday due to come back to the UK tomorrow. Her friend found her, she was already gone. She was early 60’s, fit as a fiddle, walked 10 miles a day. I’m in utter shock, I’m an only child and my parents are divorced almost 30 years. I feel so alone, like a kid again. I’m lying in bed beside my sleeping dd and I’m just sobbing. It doesn’t feel real.

You poor poor thing. I am so so sorry. What a dreadful shock. Know that I am thinking of you, sending you a big hug across the ocean from this fellow mumsneter over in the US. You are not alone.

Ah you poor thing. What a shock. I'm so sorry. Who is with you?

My partner is here too, he’s driving us back in the morning, hoping to get an early ferry than the one we were supposed to be on. I’m from Ireland so I’ve booked a flight back for tomorrow evening. Thank you for your kind words.

I’m so sorry, sending you a massive hug. I lost my mum a few days after her 65th birthday, it was unexpected but she wasn’t in perfect health. I’m glad someone’s with you.

I am so sorry op.

You must be in a daze. It is a very strange time. I found it surreal - everyone was carrying on with life but mine stood shock still. I could not understand it at all.

you have a long road ahead. The only thing I can say is expect waves of sorrow. Explain to your dd that you will cry a lot and at unexpected times.
Try to be kind to yourself.

It's good there's someone to do the driving. I hope you get an easy journey.

Jot things down as they occur to you. Questions you have, people to contact, funeral ideas, anything at all. Grieving brains act in funny ways.

I am so sorry, what a shock for you.

I am awake as have just been speaking to a 111 doctor regarding my father...

So sorry that you are going though this, it's unimaginable. I don't have any words of advice, but here's a handhold. This stranger is thinking of you at this desperately sad time. 💐

I’m so sorry 😢

I’m so sorry. What a shock. Would it help to post and tell us a little about your Mum? Wishing you a safe journey home. Xxxx

I’m very sorry for your loss op 💐

I hope you can get a little sleep tonight and have a safe uneventful trip tomorrow.

Try and take things one step at a time.

I’m really sorry about your mum. I lost my
mum this summer. The first few days I felt so unreal and the grief was immense, and this was an expected death from cancer. You’ve had no chance to prepare.

Semding strength

I am so sorry. I lost my mum in April to an unexpected heart attack( although she was a lot older than yours) and understand the whirlwind of emotion you are going through. Sending much love.

I am very, very sorry for your loss @Popandcrackle Thinking about you 😢

I'm so sorry , what a shock for you and early 60's is no age . Be kind to yourself .

I am so sorry. I lost my father earlier this month. I agree with PP: let yourself feel whatever it is you're feeling. It was the anger and rage that really surprised me, I was expecting pure sadness instead.
There will be a lot of practical issues to take care of - they are a weight but also a distraction.

Thank you all so much for your kind words. My partner is being amazing and so strong helping me but he just broke down. We’ve managed to get an earlier time back which means I won’t be stressing to get to the airport hopefully.

My dd is autistic and isn’t aware of concepts of death yet, she’s so far unaware but she’s very perceptive so I know she will have picked up on the energy. Thankful that she is back at school next Monday and hoping they can help us navigate how to share with her in a way she can process. As my mum lived in Ireland and we are in England they saw each other every two months and we spent weeks in summer and Easter as well as holidays to Spain. It feels like our future memories have been robbed, I’m 30 so feel too young to be without her.

As PP said I’m going to take the waves, get the logistics done and do my best.

I am so so sorry OP. I hope you get answers soon.
Your partner sounds very supportive. Let him take over all home/family admin while you focus on your mum and yourself.

Sending very best wishes

So so sorry for your loss.

I lost my mum in her early 60s and I feel cheated. I do however beleive I was also very lucky to have her as my mum. She was the very best.

Write lists of things to do ... you will forget things otherwise.

If you work you need time off, get a fit note from your GP but do get back to work as soon as you can as it is part of the moving forward which you will need. Hope that makes sense.

Oh love I'm SO sorry😘🤗

60 is so young & being healthy, it's a huge shock for you, on top of the 'usual' feelings when a parent dies.

My Dad died suddenly at 65, we'd been out diving & swimming off his boat the day before, no signs of anything being wrong.

I hope you get some answers as the not knowing is awful.

I'm glad your partner is there for you 😊.

we're here with you 😘

Just checking back in to say that I am still thinking of you this morning. I can completely understand that feeling of being cheated - your mum was very young, and you are young to be without her. It just isn't fair, is it?
Glad that your partner is with you and so supportive. Sending hugs.

I made it home from France and am on my way to the Airport now. My dad has been fantastic even though they were divorced for years, they really came together as grandparents.

The coroner has confirmed it was a heart attack, she had high cholesterol in 2020 and hadn’t gotten it checked again. Which makes me so angry with her, she was always taking care of me, she should have focused on herself. She was so active, didn’t smoke and drank every so often. She was really slim, as I said she walked for two hours a day.

It feels so surreal and unfair. Thank you all for your kind messages, they make me feel so much less alone.

Oh OP, I’m so sorry to hear about your mum.
Take care of yourself xxx

Oh god that's awful OP, no age at all, I'm so sorry.

My mother in law passed away from a heart attack very suddenly. We were all in total shock, but eventually the fact that she hadn't suffered a long horrible illness helped us.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Give yourself plenty of time and as much space as you need