I'm really struggling at the moment mentally, over the last few years iv lost my dad, nan, aunt, 3 uncles and my mom (just over a year ago) . I dealt with it all pretty well until I lost my uncle and mom a year after each other both through late diagnosis of cancer, I literally have no family around me, iv only got my sister (who lives 4 hours away) and cousin left as iv lost everyone else to cancer. I'm only 35 and feel way to young to have lost everyone. Iv got my 3 kids but obviously to young to talk to, I have my partner but he lost his dad weeks before my mom and is also struggling mentally. I turned to gambling to take my mind off it all and pretty much f#*ked my kiddies birthdays up as I gambled everything I had, over 20k, it wasn't until my sons birthday and he had just a card and a small cake I made I realised I needed to stop and blocked all forms of gambling just under a year ago now. But my mental health is so messed up I feel so down and depressed, I have no one to talk to, my health anxiety is shot to pieces, my son is non verbal and had several disabilities and is mentally draining me every day and most days if it wasn't for my kids I don't think I'd be here any more, I only function for my kids and feel my relationship is falling apart too. I'm sorry for the rambling on but I just need to air my feelings before I go crazy :,(