Personality change after loss of dad

[ElatedCrab]

Hi all. For some context me and my dad had a complex and largely estranged relationship due to some poor decisions he made in my childhood. We remained in touch on and off and recently became more active in staying in touch. He passed away suddenly 2 months ago and I was left with lots of feelings, mainly guilt over our relationship and sadness for no future to be had. Since the funeral I’ve felt completely different as a person. Prior to this I was very positive and had a really sunny outlook on life and was very active. I’m now at a point where I’m not taking care of myself, I’ve put on weight, and I’m just a really negative person. I’m snappy and grumpy and short tempered, I’m tired all the time, the things I used to love doing bring me no joy and I feel like I’ve had a complete personality transplant. I’m even snapping at my partner and children for little things which isn’t like me. Any advice on getting back on track would be greatly appreciated please as I feel lost.

when someone dies you don’t just lose them, you lose the dream of them and it’s awful. You probably always thought things would fix themselves and now that chance has been taken away
im so sorry OP. Grief is most awful thing.

I lost my 22 year old son 2 years ago and my partner in February of this year and all I can say is that I am a different person now. It's hard to adjust when somebody dies and when my son died I couldn't listen to music at all but before that music was a massive part of my life, I eventually found myself listening to music again but it takes time and there's still some things I haven't been able to do that I used to enjoy. I recognise myself in your post and I think the only advice I can give is to give yourself time (I know it's shit advice lol) after losing my partner in February I honestly thought that was it for me now and I didn't want to be here anymore and I am even surprised that I'm at where I'm at now (not crying so that's a start lol) I listened to podcasts about grief and looked into how grief affects the brain and weirdly enough just knowing really helped. I'm sending you hugs xx

My mum died three months ago and I feel I've changed too. I'm more tired and irritable, I'm finding it difficult to motivate myself. I'm putting on weight and not getting out for walks or moving around enough.

I think it's just how grief is.

I did start to feel better recently, mainly I was distracted by some social events, but now I'm feeling low and in a difficult patch again.

Be patient with yourself if you can, it's ok to not be ok after a bereavement.