Mums birthday tomorrow

[Justanotherusername27]

She would have been 63. We lost her just over 4 months ago, very quickly. Going for lunch with my dad and sister but I just want to crawl into a hole and sob.

We should be planning her birthday weekend of going to the beach as a big family, whose house we were going to watch the football at. The cake I make her every year should be downstairs waiting for tomorrow. My son should be writing the birthday card he always wants me to get from him individually and putting lots of Xs in it as he does every year. He would have spent his pocket money to buy her a present, she was his absolute favourite person, they had such a deep bond. It would have been her first birthday with her new granddaughters that she was so desperately looking forward to watching grow up. Instead we are living in an alternate reality where everything seems so much darker. it’s going to be so hard.

Happy birthday to my lovely kind, sweet, beautiful and generous mum. Our hearts are broken without you.

Your poor heart. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mum sounds lovely.

I know at the moment it probably feels like too much. I hope that in time you’ll go back to doing those lovely things in her memory. Even the cake. Your boy could buy her a plant for her resting place or your garden.

I’m a believer that energy goes everywhere and not even death is final. I hope you feel her with you. Take care x

The first anniversaries are awful, the what ifs too.
Im sorry for your loss. Cry your tears, one day the memories will make you smile, laugh even. I always go to the cemetery, it’s been many years now and it still hurts but you will learn to live your life, it’s what your mum would want. The pain will eventually fade most of the time. Sending healing thoughts. X

💐

Happy Birthday to your beautiful Mother. What reminds you most of Mum? Sometimes when I want to feel closer to those I’ve lost, I think of their special ways, cook their signature dish or play their favourite songs. Even though she is not here in the flesh, she did exist and those memories are yours, forever. You’ll find her where she lives now, in your heart.

Im sending you a big cuddle, OP. Go
gently with yourself xx

Birthdays and anniversaries are so hard, when the people who we love and loved so much aren’t here!
It’s 2 years now since my wonderful amazing mum died! Her birthday was on the 16th June. It doesn’t get easier!
My amazing wonderful dad died Boxing Day a few years, before my mum. His birthday was 2nd July.

What I do is phone them, on their birthdays Wishing them Happy Birthday! I talk and answer my own questions just as they would have answered. I tell them my news and how much they are loved.

I am so sorry for your loss, you know how precious your mum was, and that why it hurts so much. You have many wonderful memories of your mum. That will stay with you forever. 😘🌸

Every word of your post resonated with me apart from I'm 4 birthdays on from losing her. Losing a mum and grandma who was so so adored is tragic.
Maybe next year you could continue to make the cake and keep it a tradition.
Honestly not that it helps but I promise you aren't alone in this pain. It's just gut wrenching x

Thank you. I was doing okay but this last hour has taken me down. I don’t want to be in a world without my mum but I don’t have a choice. I feel like an open wound, I feel lost and scared. I’m just desperate for my mum. Hopefully this feeling will pass soon x

So sorry for your loss. Anniversaries/ birthdays are tough, so much emotion all focussed on one day. You loved your Mum and that will never change. Cherish the times you had. Of course you feel lost, your world has changed and you didn’t want it to. Remember your family need you. Sending hugs.

@Justanotherusername27

It's hard.

My girls lost their mum in January so a lot of 'firsts' to get through. Mother's Day was a nightmare. My wife's Birthday is at the end of July. I've offered to host, just as we would if my wife was still here. She loved hosting, never knew when to stop adding things to the 'banquet'

It will be bloody difficult with lots of tears, but they know it's what their mum would have loved.

As I said, it's hard. But remember all the good bits about your mum's Birthday. I doubt she'd want you to be too sad.

Hello OP, Jul 11 is your mom's birthday but it is the day that my mom passed away. She was 69. I remember that I felt totally uprooted and lost when I lost her. My dad was still alive, but I did not have very close relationship with him, so I felt orphaned in a way, and so lonely. However, over time, the feeling of loss and sorrow was replaced with pure love and gratitude for everything she did for me, for what she meant to me. When I think of her now, it is not painful, it is like I am being covered with a warm blanket, cozy and safe.

I still miss chatting with my mom, her voice and her big bear hugs, but I always feel her presence. She is everywhere I turn, I see her when I look in the mirror, I see her in my kids, I feel her loving presence when I am most down.

I always remember too, when a cousin of mine lost her dad with whom she was very close, she said then, "you know, it does not matter that they are gone, what matters is they they lived". Hugs.

Hugs to you OP.

Mums are the best, yours was way too young to go, I'm so sorry.

I lost my mum in May. It feels unbearable sometimes.

@livelovelough24 your post is beautiful I have screen shotted it. My dad died almost 3 months ago and we were very close, I have no relationship with my mother so I feel like an orphan too. However I am so grateful for the memories I have of my Dad and know he loved me and my kids so much, I can still feel his love everyday.

It's his birthday on Wednesday, going to the grave in the evening then will take a walk around his beloved football teams ground in the day with my son who he used to often take for games x

@Fajita123 I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard, isn't it, to move forward without their love and support, but that is exactly what we have to do. I know that the pain is still fresh for you, it has only been three months. There will always be an ache there, in that space around your heart, but in time, it will get easier to get up in the morning and get on with your day, I promise.

I saved a lot of my mom's emails in a special folder and so when I feel really down and unable to get up, I open one and read it... Take care.