Funeral help (cost)

[SadAndHappy]

Quite a difficult one. My father passed away completely unexpectedly last week and we are all completely broken 💔 It's been a difficult time but are finally in a place where we can (and need) to sort his final send off. My question though, how do we pay if we haven't got the money?

My sister and I are both on benefits, although I work part time. We are not sure if there is moneyh in my fathers bank account but he wasn't one for saving. On the off chance there is any money in there, is there a limit to how much is in ther before we get no help whatsoever?

As horrible as this sounds, and weird as it is to talk about money in a time like this, how do we get access to any money he possibly has? As he wasn't married my sister an I are next of kin and planning this.

We are going for a direct cremation, mainly because it's what he wanted, but also because of the cost. It's a hard one to get my head around as I feel I don't know how I will say goodbye if we cannot attend a service.

Thank you

did he have a will?

No will. He wasn't practical like that. And it really was very unexpected so I don't think he thought that far ahead 😢

When I lost my dad, I took a copy of his death certificate and his will into his bank, gave them a rough idea of the costs and they paid the undertaker directly. There was more than enough in there to cover it.

You need to contact the DWP if you are on benefits, I’m sure that there is a grant to help pay funeral costs

www.gov.uk/funeral-payments

I just wanted to add that I am sorry for your loss and I hope you get the help you need xx

Did he have any money himself that would pay for the cremation?

Thank you. The whole process is long and daunting. He is still waitong to have a postmortem, which means no death certificate yet. Does this also mean we can't even plan a direct cremation yet? I don't know what to do now. Do we need to wait until the postmortem is done before we can do anything?

We aren't sure yet as we don't know what is in his bank. Without a death certificate, I'm not sure we can find out?

home owner?

Something to think about is what his occupation was because there are organisations that give occupation-based grants for funerals. Eg veteran/steelworker etc.

I would do some research so you know the cost of his wishes, and then I would probably contact the DWP and get the ball rolling on the funeral expenses grant. The DWP never rush anything.

He wasn't working unfortunately. He was mainly a carer for his sick partner.

Thank you. I will maybe give them a call today then. Thanks

the death needs to be registered and then you need a green form which gives permission for cremation or burial.
the form can be sent directly to the funeral director.
sorry for your loss.

so won’t she need the money? did the life together? rent or owned?

If you decide on a direct cremation, you could have a celebration of his life at your home giving you all a chance to share your memories and say goodbye.

What money?? We are not sure there IS any money! And unfortunately, if there is momey in his bank to pay for a funeral/direct cremation then that is what we will need to do. Yes they lived together and it was rented. He has no will, no money, no owned home, he wasn't practical. He lived life the way he wanted, happy and carefree and spent his money as he went..... Because as the saying goes, you can't take it with you when you die!

Was his bank account a sole account or joint with his partner?

i think best to assume he didn’t have a penny to his name op

when did he last work?
pension?

This is what we were all thinking. As my sister and I were the next of kin (my sister is older so mainly her), we are most definitely involving my fathers partner (our stepmum) as in some ways she will be finding this harder than us as they were together 30 odd years! We have all decided that a direct cremation is what he would have wanted and a meet up somewhere to celebrate his life and look back on all the wonderful memories. Thank you for this ❤️

Yes. Hence why I was asking what kind of help we can get!

Definitely sole. His partner has her own account, though they did share the expense of the house, bills, payments etc through the middle.

if i were you, i’d drop in to citizens advice today

they will be able to signpost

We didn't have a death certificate for my daughter in law, we got a statement of the fact of death from which we were able to arrange a funeral etc, there was no post mortem, she died on the operating table.

After the post mortem you'll get a death certificate which you can take to the bank and use for everything else.

Oh thank you for this! How do we get this, from who? As we really need to find a funeral directors but everything I've read says we cannot do that until we have some sort of evidence or proof.