When I miss Mum most ....

[DoReMeDo]

...is when I want to moan or share worries about my Dad. She would tut and roll her eyes, and then laugh. I could do with a bit of that right now.

Oh I know, it's when things are difficult, and you just want her to say everything will be alright. Or when something lovely happens, and you just want to share it with them

God I miss my mum.

It's been a few years since my DM passed and I still miss her so much

She used to love looking at what I bought home from shopping trips - clothes, gifts etc and I still hate walking into my house and not having anyone to look at my purchases. Daft, I know 😔

Sending you love and hugs OP💐

Sharing daft things that have happened with pets or children - or what people have said. I got a bit of money when she died (from her house) and I used it to have a new kitchen - and I was so sad that I couldn't show her my new kitchen, she would have loved it. I guess she would be sad her house was sold though.

My mum died 6 years ago, miss talking to her about Corrie we both loved watching it and would text when it was on, also books as we were both avid readers. I miss so much about her there is still such a big gap in our lives since we lost her

I lost my Dad just over a year ago and I still go to ring him to tell him something, or I take a photo of something to send to him. I listened to an answerphone message he left me the other day and the sound of his voice made me realise how much I miss hearing it. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to him not being here anymore.

My mum died 11 months ago today and I miss her more and more. You just don't get used to it, do you?

So sorry OP

I miss sharing daft stories. I miss the love she had for her grandchildren and not being able to share what they are up to. I miss her unconditional love for me too, I miss her house and sharing a cup of tea and a slice of cake with her. I miss her smile and how easy laughing came to her.

Or even good news! Lost my mum in 2019, I'm 58 & I still think great news I'll ring mum!

I lost my mum nearly 7 years ago - don't know how it's been that long - and I still miss calling her everyday for a chat on the phone.
I'm also so sad that she never met her grandchildren, and never knew I became a mum. She would've loved them!

Mum died last August. Still can't believe it. I'm in the process of trying to sell her house (our family home since 1970). It's awful. I feel like I'm trapped in a nightmare. The unconditional love she had for me is something I'll never receive again. Life feels rather pointless to be honest.

This coming bank holiday ( Ireland) I always miss mum, she died in 2014.

Every June bank holiday weekend we would go to a garden festival https://www.bordbiabloom.com/
I’ve not gone back since.

There was a piece on the news earlier and it was a woman and her mum at the festival and I had a wee cry.

It’s the hugs. The fact she wasn’t here to meet her second grandchild. I think it will always be hard.

I'm sitting with mum who was diagnosed with a brain tumour two weeks ago, on Tuesday this week, we were told it is untreatable due to the type, size and location and referred for palliative care. Things have happened so quickly.
I was chatting on the phone mast night about our plans to take her out at the weekend, and to celebrate her birthday at home on Saturday with a small gathering. We laughed at my dad trying to find stuff in drawers. She was as fine as she could be.
But mum's condition worsened suddenly this morning so it's been a day of trying to expedite treatment and care packages. The overnight hospice team just called to say they're at the end of the phone for anything we need. Tomorrow the palliative care teams will visit to do their thing.
We're in shock at the speed of things, numb, hollowed out. She's the glue of our family. She's incredible. My poor dad.

So sorry @Gherkingreen hope the next few days pass peacefully for you all.

@MissYouMumx i feel like this with my dad not being here no one will ever love me or be that interested in me ever again . It’s so shit I totally get the life is pointless thing . It’s just that person who was interested in the most trivial parts of your life and who you never had to put on an act for being gone .

@Gherkingreen I'm so sad for you.

My mum was taken to hospital feeling unwell on Tuesday 30th May, I was with her for a week and then she died on Tuesday 7th May. It was a very different situation to yours as there was no diagnosis, and I thought my mum would pull through until the morning of Monday 6th when we were told she was dying.

It is very tough to be with your loved one while they die, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. So much love and strength to you, your mum and your family.

@MissYouMumx I feel exactly the same, that unconditional, special love is gone forever.

Sounds like we've all had the privilege of having an amazing mum, we're the fortunate ones, and the way we feel is the price we pay for loving and being loved. We've had a difficult night but the support teams should kick in today and hopefully that'll help mum be more comfortable. Wishing you all peace and love.

Thank you all for your lovely posts - I feel the heartbreak and the love. It's so hard, isn't it? Condolences and best wishes to you all.

I didn't have a particularly close relationship with my Mum - we were very different characters and I don't think she really understood me or my life. But the love was both spoken and unspoken. I don't miss her in a practical, day to day way. We didn't see that much of each other, or speak particularly often. But it's the certain moments when - as so many people have said - you want to share a bit of news, or a funny story, or a memory.

I miss her mainly through my Dad. They were together for 70 years. (I have issues with the way he controlled her but he also loved her, and she him). He's doing his best to carry on but is setback himself by just being too old to do what he wants (bits of his body letting him down). I feel his mind is slowly going too and he's as stubborn as a mule. I didn't worry about either of them too much when Mum was alive, as I knew they were always together and would look after one another. I feel the responsibility now! She would be rolling her eyes at the fact that he won't take it easy or rest. I'm thinking 'what would she do / what would she want me to do / what CAN I do'.

My Mum died at the end of July last year.

@Gherkingreen I'm so sorry for your bad news. My Mum also had a brain tumour, which was diagnosed at the end of January last year. This came after a few months of worrying about why she was losing the ability to find words. Her sight was deteriorating too, which was put down to her already-diagnosed macular degeneration, but we now know that both of these things were due to the tumour. She spent her last couple of months in a nursing home, in the village where they lived, where my Dad visited every day. They were very kind and she was well looked-after. Dad sat by her side every moment he could. He slept on the chair by her bed for the last few nights. She was comfortable and not in pain. We found the palliative care teams really excellent. - caring and compassionate. Wishing you strength.

You are all so, so very lucky. Please cherish your memories. My mum was a life served alcoholic who got progressively meaner as the years went on, I have almost no happy memories. I was lucky in a way because I had an aunt who stepped up for me, I miss her dreadfully every day but there have been times when I could have done with a mum

I lost my mum suddenly 4 years ago this summer, when I was 32, during COVID lockdowns. I have had a child since then, and I've really struggled with motherhood. It's had an effect on my marriage and we (dh and I) are just so sad, all the time. I desperately want to call her and hear her tell me it'll be ok. If I could tell her my struggles, maybe we'd not have got to this place because I wouldnt have had to lean on DH so heavily.

@DoReMeDo my mum's experience was very similar to your mum's, I'm so sorry to hear you went through this too.
Mum saw the opthalmologist in March after her eyesight deteriorated in her left eye, they said it was detached vitreous humor/old age. Then she struggled to hit the ball at table tennis and couldn't work out their household finances like she always has. She was always so vibrant, healthy and fit. First we knew it was a tumour was on May 16, her terminal diagnosis was last Tuesday and here we are supporting her now through her final days. It's surreal. It's her birthday today, she was insistent we have a gathering, so there will be cake and fizz and close family around to celebrate with her. I wish you peace and hope you're okay x

God I miss my mum so much.
She died in January, after two long months in hospital and pretty much a lifetime of managing type 1 diabetes and all of its complications. I hate diabetes with a passion.
It still doesn't feel real. I am so lost without her. I could just be me when I was with her.

We weren't typically close in a lot of usual mother / daughter relationships (she could be very hard, and never once said she loved us etc) but she was always rooting for us, and I miss her most with the smaller things. When DS has a great piece of art, or a new hobby he wants to share or he did well at school, when I get a great yellow bargain sticker at Waitrose (that was her achilles heel :D) I automatically go to sending her a quick message or an email, only to remember she's not here any more.

My dad's still here but it's not the same, and I spend a lot of time supporting him with the day to day stuff.